Any sailor worth his or her salt knows it's vital to lay in ample provisions and then ration them over the course of a long voyage.
Evidently, director Gore Verbinski and the crew steering the generally listless Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (Disney) drank up all the rum and fresh water during the first two parts of their blockbuster series based on the theme-park ride.
The talky follow-up to 2000's The Curse of the Black Pearl and last summer's Dead Man's Chest is enervating compared to its mirthful, rollicking predecessors. There's not much swashbuckling and what does occur is hard to make out thanks to hesitant camerawork and murky effects. Cast additions Chow Yun-Fat, playing pirate Capt. Sao Feng, and Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards as Capt. Teague, father to Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), don't provide any vim or vigor.
The movie begins in earnest in Singapore, where Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Will (Orlando Bloom), and Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) grab the charts and equipment they need to rescue Jack from Davy Jones' locker — in other words, to bring him back from the dead. That task is completed with relative ease and the quartet must decide whether to lead members of the Nine Lords of the Brethren Court — a veritable rainbow league of multiracial pirates — against the tyrannical forces of the East India Company, which currently rules the seas.
Scaling back on the action-adventure pyrotechnics isn't a bad idea if there's a stirring and coherent story to take up the slack. Alas, the splintered plot consists of a series of confusing double-crosses and half-hearted bits of comic rigmarole.
Keeping abreast of every shift of allegiance during the numerous tete-a-tetes isn't necessary because we're on a fixed heading. Destination: a clash between the capitalist villain Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) and our criminal heroes, whose code of honor is hoisted above the "civilized" ethos that permits the execution of impoverished men, women and children who dare side with pirates.
Standing in the way of screen justice is gypsy priestess Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), whom squid-faced Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) loves, and whom the Brethren Court frees from captivity. Turns out she is the sea goddess Calypso, but when she unleashes her fury it's a major letdown. Elizabeth and Will's romance is kept spinning long enough to effect a nonsensical conclusion with the emotional impact of a fashion magazine spread.
The most interesting segment is Jack's surreal encounter with stone crabs and a sand-surfing galleon inside the realm of the dead. Among his hallucinations are multiple versions of himself. Later, mini-Jack Sparrows perch on his dreadlocks and whisper contradictory advice, yet the promising motif goes unexploited. In general, there are only a few flashes of Jack's scallywag charm.
Many faults could be overlooked if the lashed-together movie were more fun. One can only assume people on both sides of the camera were exhausted and fatigue allowed the creative equivalent of scurvy to set in.
The film contains recurring action-adventure violence and peril, including hangings and characters run through with swords; fondling and kissing of a bare female leg; suggestive humor and innuendo; voodoo incantations; and a crude expression. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is A-II — adults and adolescents. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 — parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
