When I experience real clarity, I feel really free. This is even the case when I see the complexities of an issue or stance that raises conflict for me. In our role definitions, for example, we have many inbred conflicts. When we are vague and have role confusion, we don’t know how to act.
(This article courtesy of the Arlington Catholic Herald.)
Yet when we gain clarity about who we are and what our responsibilities are as parent, priest, helper, teacher, female/male religious, deacon, father, sibling or friend, we are left with an opportunity to set priorities and make decisions. No action or solution will be totally correct or satisfying, but if we have clarity when we decide, we will have a sense of confidence that will give us peace and strength when we need it.
To arrive at a clarity that is tied to religious principles, rather than a delusion fired by our own needs and insecurities, we must prayerfully question ourselves. Below are several common areas we must come to terms with and some sample questions we can ask ourselves while praying for insight. These are offered as a possible approach when addressing points of confusion or vagueness in our lives.
Measuring Personal Effectiveness: What is success to me? Is it the end result or the process (being faithful to what is right) that is important? Who is a good person with whom to discuss my performance as a parent, priest, co-worker, etc.?
Determining Our Support Systems: Who in my family do I turn to for support? Who are my best friends and guides? How well do I trust others and how trustworthy am I in return? What are reasonable expectations for those I look to in my community or family for support?
Role Definition: Who am I now (in terms of beliefs, attitudes and roles)? Where am I confused regarding my role(s) in life? When I am confused, how do I go about resolving this confusion? How do I picture myself now? (Am I still seeing myself now as I looked in my “psychological and spiritual photograph” of 10 years ago?)
Obtaining a clear picture of something is not easy. Sometimes we shun clarity because we must then correct what we see is wrong. Another reason we may fear clarity is that we worry that seeing our mistakes will make us feel bad about the time we have wasted living our lives in an erroneous way. A third resistance to seeing things clearly is the fear of how people will react to us if we begin behaving in a new way based on seeing things differently, and perhaps more accurately.
Still, we must be willing to face any resistance to change that comes from being clear. We must realize that seeking clarity is a very worthwhile goal in that it moves us away from the false beliefs we have about life because they stymie our journey toward the truth and a more complete Christian commitment. No matter how hard the process, it's worth it. I must say that in those moments when I experience real clarity — even though I may not immediately act upon it, but instead pray for courage to do so at some point in the future — I feel the closest to God.
