One of the great privileges of my job as a teacher is the ability to watch students grow over the course of four years and then to see them teach you. Sometimes I realize that they have been teaching me the entire time.
Last night at eXaLT, a senior in high school spoke. This doesn’t happen often and we are usually pretty selective about the students who are allowed to do so. This particular senior was talking about his experience at World Youth Day in the summer of 2008. He had the opportunity to go to Hawaii and Sydney and essentially had a very formative experience in his faith.
Joe (because that is his name) was talking about how he was overcome with emotion at the various experiences. The people. The concerts. The Pope. The Eucharist. I think that any youth minister or teacher can tell you that there is no experience like seeing a student come into his own. As Joe continued to talk, he became more comfortable. His passion became contagious.
A small part of me was sad because the impact and the emotional weight that Joe brought last night was a part of an entire picture for me. I remember having that emotion. Sometimes I still do. Most of the time, prayer is an act of faith. It is beyond emotion and sometimes despite it.
I think that an emotional response to Christ and His presence is a great privilege. It can also be a great curse if we depend on that emotion for our entire faith walk. If we expect that emotional response every time that we kneel in front of the Blessed Sacrament, we can only be disappointed.
I don’t think God wants us to live off of our emotions. That would be too easy. It certainly is not the case in our lives. Our relationships don’t have that emotional reaction every time that we encounter the person. When we make a decision to love someone, that decision goes beyond our emotions. We can be annoyed with someone and still love them.
Is our relationship with God the same way? Do we give God the same credit or do we simply ask God to give us a thrill every time we encounter Him? What if God removes emotion in the same way that the physical therapist removes the crutch? We can never learn to walk, even by faith, if we are relying on something outside that is going to simply support us, in this case, a faith that is only supported by emotion.
If you make the decision today not to pray because you “don’t feel like it” then you are choosing to ignore your friend because you don’t feel like it. If you make the decision to pray despite the fact that you don’t feel like it, you are choosing to strengthen the relationship beyond the mere thrill of emotions. You are building up emotional muscle. You are building up spiritual muscle. You are building up the ability to resist atrophy of the soul.
There are so many times I have these nagging doubts and I wish that I could say that they go away, but I find they are opportunities for me to practice love for my God, to make the active choice for God despite what I feel, to make that choice every day.
I know that when I do that there is a peace that continues to build. There is a confidence in the relationship that I didn’t have previously. That muscle of faith gets stronger. The foundation continues to build.
Do yourself a favor. Exercise today. If I am thrilled at Joe’s growth as a student, God must be thrilled with my growth when I exercise my faith.
I don’t know about you, but today I am going to try to thrill God.
