“You can find these moms just about anywhere, in Hollywood, in the White House — probably in the house next door.”
Duh.
The AP article deemed so newsworthy in our ever-shrinking print newspaper it garnered front page/color photo coverage, claims the current term for sexy moms is, “Momshell”. Snarf. Get it? Instead of Bombshell? Excuse me while I find my inhaler to recover from the stomach cramping laughter attack I crumbled into. No, better yet, this should probably fall under my on-going theme of: I think I just threw up a little.
Celebrities are going out in public in, gasp, a pregnant state! Some of them are actually not only of legal age but — double gasp — married! And this… is front-page news. Suddenly being pregnant is “sexy” because of whom or where the working uterus resides.
So, Michelle Obama is a “Momshell”? Because she made it to the White House? Look, I think the woman is strikingly pretty and has great calves. And it appears she gave birth. But should location determine Character? Sexiness? Is the Whitehouse just so oozing with sexiness that one becomes sexy by living there? And when she moves out, will she be merely a shell of a mom?
Let me tell you about sexy. Sexy is my best friend who, with a husband, three teenagers and nutty dog learned she was pregnant. With twins. At the age of 42. So much for retirement. So much for the Empty Nest plans in 5 years. So much the annual beach vacation, new shiny sedan and hope of ever sleeping more than two hours at a time for the next 3 years.
Sexy is not giving into the hype and fears of having a baby after 40. Sexy is not slapping the 87th person that day who asked a stupid question: “Are you crazy?”
“Don’t you know where babies come from?”
“NOW are you going to get fixed?”
“Are you keeping them?”
“Are you nuts?”
So sexy was the glow on her pregnant face… for the rest of my life, even if I exceed myLifetime Botox Budget, I will never look as radiant as she.
The twins are now two years old. I swear my friend looks younger and happier than ever. Makes me want to have two sets of twins if it means looking as good and yes, sexy, as she does.
By the way, this article began with, “There’s no apron, no mom jeans or frump of any kind.” Obviously, this article was written by a young Unmother whose own mother embarrassed her in public. Get over it chickie! And let me finish by addressing your opening statement.
- You don’t need to repeat “in” before subsequent nouns.
2. Aprons can be very sexy. And if I have to explain that one….
3. I agree. Jeans should not be frumpy. Great-fitting jeans are an investment with far better dividends than original Apple stock and potentially more powerful than any celebrity or political position plus…no trendy mom-title needed.
