Top Ten Unreported Obama Vacation Activities

1. Solved crisis in Egypt. Result will become apparent within the week.

2. Cheered his personal two-pound lobster on to a disappointing seventh place finish in the 2013 annual Edgartown Lobster Races.

3. Established first Martha’s Vineyard sanctuary for homeless shrimp.

4. Renewed pact with Satan just before eagling the seventh hole at the Vineyard Golf Club.

5. Kicked down seven-year-old’s sandcastle at the beach shouting, “You didn’t build that!”

6. Saved Valerie Jarrett from shark attack by reminding shark that he lives in Massachusetts. Shark realized he had mistaken Jarrett for a Republican, showing the shark knew very little about politics.

7. Stayed on top of world events by remaining constantly touch with Jay-Z and Beyonce at their desks in the Situation Room.

8. While biking, saw a talking white rabbit with a pocket watch and followed it down hole into a curious hall with many locked doors of all sizes.

9. Defeated soft shell crab in mixed martial arts exhibition.

10. Insincerely asked Michelle three times if she’d like to go golfing too.


Are there any others that you are aware of?


This article first appeared at White House Dossier and is used here with permission.

Keith Koffler


Award winning journalist Keith Koffler has 16 years of experience covering Washington. As a reporter for CongressDaily, National Journal magazine, and Roll Call, Keith wrote primarily from the White House, covering three presidents and learning as few have the intricacies of the West Wing and the behavior and motivations of its occupants. While mainly stationed at the White House, he also extensively covered Congress and Washington’s lobbyists. Keith has also written for a variety of other publications, including Politico, The Daily Caller, and The London Observer. He currently writes regular opinion columns for Politico. He blogs at

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  • Terri

    I have just recently started reading the articles on this web site, and I was disappointed to see this “tongue-in-cheek” piece about our President. I understand the point the writer is trying to make, and I agree with him, but on a web site such as this, a higher standard should be set–sarcasm borders on disrespect.

  • Twinkletoes

    I found it refreshing. Thanks for brightening my morning.

  • donald


    Lighten up!

  • BillinJax

    I understand what you are trying to say here Terri, and you have the right to point out what would seem obvious. However, please note that Keith has spent 16 years in Washington mingling with politicians and lobbyist. Not many of us could endure that without becoming a little calloused and insensitive toward the ruling class who look upon us as useful idiots.

  • Hank

    What is the point of a posting like this? I can find biting political satire just about anywhere. I don’t come to CE for more of the secular world

  • Richard III

    Haha! This is awesome! We need more people reporting Obama’s unreported activities, on vacation and elsewhere. Thanks for the article, and keep ’em comin’! 😀

  • kirk

    Coming from you, Mr Koffler, i would expect nothing less. Obama-Bashing appears to be your number one pleasure – perhaps you should expand your horizon a bit for you’ve become quite insufferable. I don’t agree with everything that falls from Obama’s mouth, but i do respect him as President of the United States, and I believe that you, and many other Catholic writers, treat him with less respect than the family dog. That sort of talk deflects all the most important part of Catholic outreach, including right to life issues, and gives our detractors all the more amunition for their attacks on our values.

  • kirk

    Maybe that’s the problem – “Keith” has been so long in the company of Obama-bashing Republicans that his vocabulary has shrunk. He can’t put in print what he no longer thinks.

  • Kevin Bailey

    I agree Hank.

  • Richard III

    This article is undeniably a joke at Obama’s expense, but I don’t think it’s all that offensive. Mr. Koffier is making several satirical jokes, he’s not calling the president dirty names or spewing out curses.

    And if many people respect the president less than the family dog, that may be because the family dog isn’t hellbent on murdering unborn children, doesn’t kiss up to Muslim extremists, doesn’t harbor a callous disregard for Christianity/Catholicism, doesn’t target, exploit, or extort conservatives or look away while his cronies do so, doesn’t pontificate or capitulate on homosexual demands, doesn’t waste tax money on worthless attempts at job creation/ending poverty/green energy, doesn’t evade responsibility or accountability in times of crisis, isn’t drooling to disarm the populace, doesn’t force unwilling people, churches, and companies to pay for someone else’s adultery enhancers, and last but not least, the family dog likely regards the Constitution as more than a moldy outmoded document or something best suited for spreading in front of the non-house-trained puppy’s bed.

  • kirk

    Richard, Richard, Richard (III) -It is amazing to me to find that whenever any writer punches indiscrimminatly at the other side of the political divide, there are so many of you who laugh heartily and think you have really put one over on the other. Well, i am saddened that it is not really constructive reasoning or even polite, and most importantly not Christ-like – the ugly American Catholic popping up everywhere to show how rude he can really be. It does our cause no good, either in faith or politics. Rather than slogging mud at the other, it would seem that as Christians, we could further our arguments more efficiently with intelligent debate. I am happy that our Pope does not follow your example, perhaps you should follow his. Your litany of Obama faults (as you see them) is rife with sarcasm and contempt, and accomplishes nothing, except to tag you as a very negative, fault-finding, un-American Catholic.

  • VO Civility

    Editors of your publication must know this is sorely disappointing, especially the reference that our President renewed a “pact with Satan”!

  • catholicexchange

    On the contrary, the Editors found it very amusing. And the ones who didn’t never worked here in the first place.

  • BillinJax

    Three different Obama candidates for Ambassador to the Vatican were turned away due to their adherence and devotion to his policies on abortion. The Pope’s example clearly sets the tone for most Catholics view of our president and his signature agenda.

  • Richard III

    Well, perhaps I could have said my piece better, but can you deny that our president is anti-life, has little regard for the Constitution or Bill of Rights, doesn’t much respect people who value and live their faith(s), and openly supports the evils of sodomy? And it is true that unexpected crises can happen to anyone, but there seem to be more than usual under Obama’s watch, and so far he hasn’t proved particularly capable in dealing with them or solving them.

    And again, this article was meant in jest. There is nothing disrespectful or un-Christian about mentioning that the president’s lobster came in 7th place. It is a harmless joke and freedom of speech.

  • haubrock

    Two other Unreported Obama Vacation Activities:

    Was single handedly putting out wildfires in the west.

    Was hanging out at the U.S.-Mexican border with Janet Napolitano drinking margaritas and repelling border crossers.

    And the bonus vacation activity: went on the tonight show and “Saved the World”.

  • kirk

    That, BJ, is a whole different can of worms. A person looking for a job as ambassador tot he Vatican has to be judged on his politics. I would think nothing less. But, just as soon as you say something intelligent in the first sentence, you clearly show your ignorance in the second.

  • TominVA

    At least his vocabulary is beyond the selfish Dem vocabulary phrase “me first.”

    While I respect the office, and many here still do. There is no respect for the scheister who holds us and willingly leads us toward disaster.
    I only wish that some of those who get so “offended” by columns such as this would get as offended by the ineptitude of our leaders, who need some serious “come to Jesus” moments

  • TominVA

    What other but a pact with Satan can explain Obama’s recent “God Bless Planned Parenthood” statement. If that’s not diabolical, I am not sure what is

  • Richard III

    And another one, in Hawaii, he finally mastered surfing standing up, but he has yet to successfully hang ten. 😀

  • PMNOrlando

    Please leave this up for the rest of his term(s) in office!!!!! This is Hysterical!

  • BillinJax

    Why thank you kirk for your polite response. I makes a Christian want to hug you. You are so respectful of others.

  • Annamarie

    You are absolutely right! Sarcasm borders on disrespect, and “our” (he doesn’t behave like one of mine would!) POTUS deserves no less.

  • Annamarie

    Thanks, Keith! This is a hoot! It is a tragedy and a crying shame, but with this crop of Chicago crooks this POTUS brought with him, we are in the position of either laughing or crying. I will take laughing any day. As the man (not him!) said, “If we didn’t go a little crazy, we’d all go insane.” Timely words.

  • David M. Syzdek

    I also agree. I come to CE to hear Catholic perspectives or at least learn about view points consistent with Christ’s example. This article is not Christian in nature.

    Would Christ have implied and joked that Pontius Pilate renewed a pack with Satan?

    As for the few comments which try to defend this article by stating that opposing sides routinely cast jokes towards us, did Jesus himself not tell us to turn the other cheek?

  • Betty Borrough

    This story has nothing to do with the Catholic faith.
    At this same point in his presidency Bush took 367 days of vacations vs. 92 for Obama. We all know that vacation for a president is always going to be working vacation, however, at an almost 4-to-1 ratio, it is hard to believe that Bush’s vacation days should count for less than Obama’s.
    This post spend most of its time making fun of how rich people vacation.

    The net worth of congress is about $4.5 billion, they too mostly vacation like rich people.

    This display of attacking someone for their wealth, and implying that Obama is a terrible president because he took vacation, while congress was not in session, is not charitable.

    This story is simple pandering to those ‘Catholics’ that simply hate anything Obama does because he is ‘on the other side’ –

    It would behoove this site to publish substantive discussion of what Obama is doing wrong AND right that we should be against… or FOR (heaven forfend!)
    If there is a political story on this site, it should be trying to be productive, there is good and bad in Obama’s policies – even if most is bad, we should encourage that which is good.
    Simply being against him makes us against the bad AND the good… and does less good than we should.

  • Richard III

    This article is a silly joke, not hard-core insults or a literal slapping of Obama’s face. I think a lot of people here are getting all worked up over nothing. Please, lighten up and learn to take a joke. What conservatives and Christians often suffer at the hands of liberals is much worse than this.

    And as far as I know, Pilate’s sentence of Christ was the making of his pact with Satan, not the renewal of any previous pact.

  • John Paul

    If Obama was my family dog, I would have to shoot him!!

  • JimmyChonga

    Obysmal is the absolute worst president that this nation has ever had the total misfortune to elect; somehow, twice. His destruction of our society will lay to those who, in their GREED for freebies, voted him into office in order to steal from their neighbors and their neighbors children. His DEATH AGENDA is now so entrenched that it will take another 50-years to beat it back. There is hope on the horizon though – follow the lead of the Lady in Blue: See that the evil one and his agenda of death will be utterly defeated in the end, the end which is coming sooner than we all realize.

  • JimmyChonga

    Betty, the man is a complete and utter idiot. Period.

  • JimmyChonga

    You can’t be Catholic and democrat. Chose life or death, Catholic OR democrat. At this point in the game, you’re attempt to be “both” is SORELY DISAPPOINTING.

  • JimmyChonga

    Obysmal is doing a pretty good job of bashing himself – he’s the worst president this nation has ever been lied to in order to elect. YOU can’t be Catholic AND democrat, Kirk – make a choice – the democrat agenda is the agenda of the EVIL ONE; plain and simple.

  • Alan Dryer

    I bet Satan is livid at being lumped in with such a low life.

  • Alan Dryer

    While playing a game of basketball, created 600 more “green” jobs while simultaneously receiving the PAC donation checks, written to the DIM party, from the newly minted bidneth owners of the, soon to be, defunct “green” jobs he just created. Man, you gotta admire this hack, for his multitasking prowess, don’t you?

  • Alan Dryer

    I bet Satan is livid at being lumped in with such a low life.