There was one bit of good news buried in the tome. Back when we were first married, we actually did something right. We got out of debt and stayed there.
Before you assume we’re blessed with beaucoup bucks, let me remind you that school teachers aren’t brain surgeons. I quit my job two weeks before Little Mister Come-to-Our-College was born and never went back. Let’s just say that things were tight. So when we were younger, we did what Americans do. We charged stuff we needed and stuff we didn’t. Soon we had a VISA balance.
By God’s grace we realized where we were headed. We made a decision to cut up the cards, pay off the debt, and stay debt free. It took more than a year, but we did it.
Sounds easy, but it wasn’t. We went without a lot of things, which was hardest on me. I’m the shopper in this family and not ashamed to admit it. We made a budget and stuck with it. Good thing Marty likes beans.
We fought many a battle over the definition of “necessity.” The kids wore hand-me-downs and thrift store specials. We made a lot of sacrifices. We prayed for things we needed and couldn’t afford.
There were times I hated going without, like the Christmas when we had fifty dollars to spend on gifts for the entire family and had to write to Marty’s relatives and tell them we couldn’t do the “pick-a-name” thing that year but would send homemade fudge instead. It was hard. Now I look back and I see the hand of God.
A friend called not too long ago, and after we’d talked for a while she admitted that she and her husband were seeing a marriage counselor. I didn’t know what kind of problems they were having and I didn’t ask, but finally she blurted out, “We owe $21,000 in credit card debt and our marriage is falling apart.” Whoa. I picked my jaw up off the floor and told her that I’d pray for them.
I hung up the phone and thanked God for an old car, an old house, old furniture, and no credit card debt. I also thanked Him for a husband who is committed to supporting his family and who has taught me by word and example to live within our means and to trust our Heavenly Father for the unexpected necessities that pop up. It has not been easy, but it has been good. We have a reasonable mortgage and that’s it. And we never fight about money any more.
We live in a culture that says we need a lot of stupid stuff. It’s a lie and a trap. When young people ask me how to have a happy marriage I say, “Put God first, put each other second, don’t contracept, stay home with your children, and avoid all consumer debt. It won’t be easy, but it will be good. God will not let you down, and that’s a promise.”
A new book, How to Pay for College Without Losing Your House, is sitting on my desk. Number One Son has a job and we’re checking out all our options. We keep telling him that God will provide and you know, I think he believes it. He should. Our family is living proof. He may not attend Harvard, but I don’t think he’ll end up an underwater basket weaver, either.
(This article can also be found at envoymagazine.com)
