An open letter to my children,
When you learned to ride a trike and later a bike, we showed you how to use the pedals. We taught you safety rules – always wear a helmet, look both ways before you cross the street, stop at red, go at green, and more. When you learn to drive, we will sit in the passenger seat and coach you. We hope to share our knowledge, earned from decades of driving experiences, so we can help you stay safe. You are the lights of our world.
Please bear with me when those driving lessons begin. If I see a potential danger, I will probably be abrupt or curt when I tell you. I’ll do my best. But if I occasionally lose it, remember I’m saying what I say because I love you. We want you to have those first driving experiences under our supervision so you can make better decisions later.
We want to give you tools so you will be a good driver and stay safe. You may view joyriding as fun with friends. We see one bad choice ending in tragedy. Driving mistakes don’t always give us second chances.
We’re on a new trail together now with the Internet. I thought I was in the driver’s seat, but we are both passengers as the Information Superhighway takes us to places I never imagined. While you are at home, your father and I will sit in the passenger seat beside you and try to figure out how to keep us all safe. We don’t have decades of Internet experience on which to base our decisions. We want you to have these first Internet experiences under our supervision so you can make better decisions later.
We want to give you tools so you will be a good surfer and stay safe.
You learn new computer technology faster than we do. Please be patient as we ask you to explain — again and again — how something works. It takes me longer to learn to speak or think digital. Email has always been in your world. I didn’t use it in the first 2/3 of my life.
You think instant message. I think phone call. If I tell you I’m twittering, it’s time to call 911 because it won’t be a good thing. When you talk about coding, you think programming; when I talk about it, I’m thinking color-coding file stickers. Although you view punctuation, capitalization, and spelling as something for old people, I think of them as imperative for civilized society and the written word.
Our life experiences and our mistakes have given us wisdom about pitfalls we hope you will avoid. When we were your age, we lived in a land of second chances. If we made mistakes or were in bad company, we had more chances to start anew.
In your world of cell phones with cameras and digital exhibitionism, you do not have that luxury. Bad choices lead to bad comments, photos, or videos lead to embarrassment and worse. They can be archived and used against you for a lifetime. You may view this as a fun time with your friends. We see potential scholarships, employment offers, and security clearances fading because of a few bad choices.
You will not have our luxury of second chances. Your choices leave a digital trail for a lifetime.
You will never enjoy the level of privacy I did at your age. You have more online friends than there were students in my high school graduating class.
At times, when we move on this Internet trail, I may yell from the passenger’s seat we are on the wrong track, or something is a danger. Please bear with me when I do so, like when we work with you on driving.
It’s because you are precious to us. We see your talents, your potential, and we don’t want bad choices today to limit your options for a lifetime. We want you to know how to make the most of cyber opportunities and how to avoid pitfalls.
Just like with driving, we’ll sit beside you on these early days of your cyber-journey. We may be your online friends, but we’re also your parents, and we want to give you the best tools for a lifetime. Then, when you’re older, you will be prepared to drive your own car and discover worlds I never imagined.
By the way – what’s a tag and what are 25 things other than the number of undone items on my to do list?
Mom
