Never Worked A Day In Her Life

Hey moms- how many of you can relate to some aspect of this picture here?

Let’s examine the vignette, shall we?

  1. Four year old about to be policed off the couch thanks to a bossy nine year old and a pillow to the face.
  2. Not-quite two year old brandishing fireplace poker that has been missing for a good two months.
  3. Three year old eating contraband food, snuck into the family room at some unknown point in the distant past, and shoved under the couch for future consumption.
  4. Room, which had been picked up, dusted, vacuumed, aired out and sanitized a mere 24 hours ago, now looks like what would happen if the set of Yo Gabba Gabba was designed by someone on crystal meth.
  5. Not pictured: six year old, who is standing directly behind the photographer, writhing for unknown reasons.
  6. Total time the room has remained adult-free before this erupted:  <.005673th of a second

Ok, raise your hand if you recognize some part of this from your daily life.

Successfully molding this band of savages into some semblance of civilized, productive members of society is work, right?

I thought so.  So can we all get back to our regularly scheduled jobs of doing the best we can without tearing each other down?

Great.  If not, I know a nine year old who’s got wicked good aim with a pillow.

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Cari Donaldson lives on a New England farm with her high school sweetheart, their six kids, and a menagerie of animals of varying usefulness. She is the author of Pope Awesome and Other Stories, and has a website for her farm, Ghost Fawn Homestead.

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