Never Worked A Day In Her Life

Hey moms- how many of you can relate to some aspect of this picture here?

Let’s examine the vignette, shall we?

  1. Four year old about to be policed off the couch thanks to a bossy nine year old and a pillow to the face.
  2. Not-quite two year old brandishing fireplace poker that has been missing for a good two months.
  3. Three year old eating contraband food, snuck into the family room at some unknown point in the distant past, and shoved under the couch for future consumption.
  4. Room, which had been picked up, dusted, vacuumed, aired out and sanitized a mere 24 hours ago, now looks like what would happen if the set of Yo Gabba Gabba was designed by someone on crystal meth.
  5. Not pictured: six year old, who is standing directly behind the photographer, writhing for unknown reasons.
  6. Total time the room has remained adult-free before this erupted:  <.005673th of a second

Ok, raise your hand if you recognize some part of this from your daily life.

Successfully molding this band of savages into some semblance of civilized, productive members of society is work, right?

I thought so.  So can we all get back to our regularly scheduled jobs of doing the best we can without tearing each other down?

Great.  If not, I know a nine year old who’s got wicked good aim with a pillow.

Cari Donaldson


Cari Donaldson lives on a New England farm with her high school sweetheart, their six kids, and a menagerie of animals of varying usefulness. She is the author of Pope Awesome and Other Stories, and has a weekly podcast about homesteading at

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  • so many things to love…

    ah, that sounds like trouble in the intergooglewebosphere…take heart.

  • Roseograce

    I’m not a Mom yet, but let me tell you: the hardest, most physically/mentally/emotionally demanding week’s worth of work I’ve ever done in my life was take care of 7 younger siblings while my parents were at the hospital with another sibling. Raising kids full time is no joke! Raising them full time for a week is no joke! Thank goodness there are still women out there who are loving and dedicated enough to do it despite the complete personal investment it requires!

  • Beth(A Mom’s Life)

    Hmmm…wonder where he has been hiding the fireplace poker? No telling what other goodies are stashed there.  And this sounds a lot like what goes on at my house – and I only have two savages!  Good thing you’ve got that bossy nine year old working for you!  🙂

  • If only we could consistently use her powers for good, and not for evil!

  • I worked full time as a teacher for the first two years of our now 9 year old’s life. It was exhausting.  When we made the choice for me to stay home with the kids, I learned THAT was exhausting, too.  
    I think I find it most amazing that Ms. Rosen, who has children of her own and knows how challenging it is to be a parent, would make a comment to the contrary.  

  • Replace Superman costume with Spiderman costume and this is EXACTLY  what my house looks like.  Right now.  So I’d better go.

    Oh, and amen!

  • steph

    THANK YOU! I will never understand why some women are so filled with bitterness and hate towards each other…. its so unnecessary and old. So you get a big AMEN sista friend from me (one ‘working’ mom to another!) 

  • Ramblign Follower

    My two boys are older but the mess endures: now it is bike parts, nerf guns, sonic screwdrivers, real screwdrivers, computer parts etc etc.

  • Sarah @ Amongst Lovely Things

    Wait. Are you saying that the designers of the Yo Gabba Gabba set AREN’T on Crystal Meth?

    Just checking.


  • Oh I suspect they’re high on something.  Probably not meth, though.

  • Sonic screwdrivers?  As in, Doctor Who sonic screwdrivers?
    Can I have your boys?

  • Micaela

    A. Men. Sister.

    Every mother I know works wicked hard. And yes, ALL of that vignette looks familiar.

  • Bravo, moms!

    I’m not a mom…I’m a dad.  I’ve always told everybody, from day one, that I get to go on a daily vacation to work because staying home with a bunch of young kids is WAY harder than any work I’m required to do.  Cheers to all the super moms out there who work very hard raising our future!

  • Parenting is hard work, no matter if you’re a mom/dad/single/married/working/stay at home.  I’ve got enough to do keeping track of shoes and monitoring of Jackie Chan consumption, I don’t need to be fighting with my peeps in the trenches.

  • You’re working your butt off, too, Dad.  My husband puts in a full day at the office AFTER he’s put in a full morning here at the homestead- so I know how much you working parents do.

    However, I *DO*envy him his 1/2 hour commute in total kid-free silence.  *bliss*!

  • I’m pretty sure there’s some aspect of it that’s universal, no matter how many kids you have or how old they are.  

  • olivia demkowicz

    Aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Awesome. Oh, my house always looks like that. And that’s the best because it means that while they’re in there doing all that, I got a chance to eat something or, god forbid, close the door to the bathroom for 2 min. 

  • Clement_W

    The sin of envy may be a factor.

  • I can close the door to the bathroom.  What I CAN’T do is lock it.  Gosh, what I wouldn’t do for “replace broken locks on bathroom doors” to be next on the “fix it” list.

  • jen

    i love this.  will you be my friend?

  • jen