Each year at this time, I am tired. I am tired because of my parish ministry schedule during February and March. I am tired because of children’s school activities. I am tired because of weighty Lenten penances that I didn’t seem to be man enough to complete with vigor. I am plain tired.
It may not be exactly the same feeling, but I empathize with the bridegroom and the festival stewards who were serving at the Wedding Feast in Cana (recorded in John 2). And, I like to think that they empathize with me. Just like the bridegroom and the stewards were running out of wine at an incredibly important moment, I feel as though I have been depleted of the metaphorical wine of God’s grace, good ideas, energy to complete necessary tasks, and ability to minister to my family and parishioners in fruitful ways.
So, I have taken to reflecting on the biblical passage that portrays this wedding feast that Jesus saved. The Lord has allowed me to see it with new eyes, and I think lots of people can benefit from these realizations. These reflections are applicable to those who, like me, are employed by the Church (at parishes, diocesan chanceries, or independent apostolates). They are also applicable to those who work in the secular world, but who still find time and energy to engage fully in the life of the Church.
I will proceed backward through the story, from its final details to its first. The last statement of the event, made by the chief steward, is about the common practice of serving inferior wine after all the good wine has been consumed at the beginning of the feast (cf Jn. 2:10). In my life and ministry work, this happens when I allow the momentum of the fall season to carry me all the way through “Sacraments Season” (i.e., from Holy Week through First Holy Communion and Confirmation liturgies), in April and May. This passage reminds me that Jesus asks me to provide the “good wine” to the good people I serve all throughout the year. I cannot rest on my laurels and expect momentum to carry me into summer break!
How do I continue with energy and zeal when I am so physically, emotionally, and spiritually fatigued? A couple of other details in the story teach me. The Lord has revealed that I am like one of those big stone jars that were sitting at the feast. They had already been used up. They were empty, just like I feel at about this time every year. But, Jesus uses their emptiness to His purpose, instead of letting their presence go to waste. Jesus can even use emptiness! (Remember, He created out of nothing!) That’s so good to hear when I feel so empty.
Jesus commands that the jars be filled up with water, not wine. Water is easy to come by. It is inexpensive and common. Even in my state of emptiness, I can just add a little of what I have, whether it is energy, time, or intellectual gifts. Whatever it is, if I just bring it to Him, He will then transform it into the new, good wine that “cheers the hearts of many.”[1] I should remember that serving the best to God’s people is up to me. That is His work. I simply need to remain humble, faithful, and open, and He will do the rest.
More details about the jars stand out to me. First, they were large and capacious. I like to perceive myself with the ability to know a lot about God and about people. I also like to think that I do a great job as a father and a parish minister. Yet, in reality, I am like one of those big, stone jars, just sitting there and not doing much. Without allowing myself to be filled up by God, I am nothing but a dense rock.
Something else about the jars is important: they were not alone. Any success that I have in life or in ministry does not happen on my own. Each of the jars, on its own, would not have sufficed for the remainder of the feast. I, too, must remember that I need others.
Not only are there six jars at the feast, there are many servants. Beyond that, Jesus, His mother, and His disciples are there in community as well. No one is alone. In the same way, we all need community if we are to celebrate in the way that the Lord intends, and if we are to find success in the areas of evangelization, catechesis, or the works of mercy.
Another detail resonates with me. It was Mary, Jesus’ mother, who initiated the miracle. She noticed before He did that something was amiss. Then, she played an integral role in Jesus’ decision to perform the miracle. How does this relate to me? I need to beg for Mary’s intercession during this trying time of year. I need to let her relationship with Jesus be the reason for bestowing His grace upon me in these difficult weeks. This is not because He wouldn’t hear me on my own and grant the request. Rather, it is because He hears His mother so readily and clearly. Having her loud, clear voice asking on my behalf seems so much better than simply asking in my beleaguered and raspy voice of prayer.
One last detail provides hope for me in the midst of difficulty and trial. The very first words of the passage are “On the third day” (Jn. 2:1), which readily calls to mind Easter Sunday and the Resurrection. I always look forward to Easter Sunday, the Easter Octave, and the whole Easter season. I look forward to them not only because I get to eat and drink things that I’ve renounced for Lent. I look forward to Easter because I bask in the grace and glory of the Risen Christ, and I know that the Lord wants to give that grace and glory to me, too. Easter is one of my favorite seasons; and I always seem to be gifted new energy and zeal for family life and ministry. So, as we are in the Octave, I am anxiously awaiting the new life that inevitably will be found here.
Running out of wine is difficult. This season, in life and in ministry, is difficult. In the midst of such difficulty, we should cry out to Jesus and Mary, and wait for their generous, grace-filled provision. If we do that, we will be so much more joyful and peaceful. On top of that, we will be stronger when the next wave of difficulties and fatigue come around.
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[1] These words, written or spoken by Aphraates, a fourth-century Assyrian mystic, were published recently in Magnificat Magazine, in the daily meditation for Friday, March 16, 2018.
image: By MARIA ROSA FERRE ✿ from Vilafranca del penedes, Catalunya [CC BY-SA 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
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