Life With College Boy

Welcome to another episode of Life With College Boy. Today, we sneak a look inside the minds of College Boy and The Mom during his first ever trip home since starting school at an out of state university.

College Boy: I hope mom doesn’t mind I invited Corine over for dinner.
The Mom: OHMYGAWD he invited that adorable girl over for dinner! That is soooo sweet! Oh crap, I gotta clean this house!

College Boy: They have new storm doors. I had to learn how to use the triple bolt locks, add a new key to my key ring and remember they’re there so I stop walking into them.
The Mom: I have to remember to give him a key to the new storm doors; plus explain how they work.

College Boy: When a phone rings, it is not necessarily for me.
The Mom: When a phone rings, it is not necessarily for me.

College Boy: I get to cook in a real kitchen and eat whatever I want, yay!
The Mom: I don’t have to cook all week because he’s home and has taken over the kitchen. Yay!  I’ll eat whatever he makes.

College Boy: Free washing machine and dryer, score!
The Mom: Ohmygawd does he EVER do laundry? What is that smell? Add detergent and bleach to the shopping list.

College Boy: A car! A car! I am so totally going to go see all of my friends.
The Mom: I will not see my car all weekend.

College Boy: Ahhhhh, nothing like being home in my own bed.
The Mom: I wonder if it’s time I ditch the teddy bear sheets and get him some plain grown-up linens?

College Boy: Cool. Green grapes!
The Mom: When did he start eating grapes? That brings him up to TWO kinds of fruit he’ll actually touch.

College Boy: I wonder if mom has any cash.
The Mom: I wonder if he’s hit up his father for any cash yet.

College Boy: She keeps looking at me. She keeps hugging me.  I should be creeped out but I’m not.
The Mom: He keeps hugging me. I figured he’d be over that by now—especially in front of his friends. I am going to work this for all it’s worth.

College Boy: I wonder if she’s going to make me go to church this weekend.
The Mom: I wonder if I should insist he come to church with us this weekend.

College Boy: When did my mother start staying up so late?
The Mom: Does that boy ever go to bed?

And before either one is prepared, the week is over.

College Boy: I wonder who’s house I can go to for the next break.
The Mom: I can’t wait until he comes home for the next break!

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  • wgsullivan

    I may seem a prude but are those prayers to GAWD mentioned above or are they in violation of the 2nd Commandment?

  • Dear wgsullivan:
    Thank you for taking the time to read my nationally syndicated humor column. What a privilege it is to have such an opportunity and the gifts and grace from God to so–in a hurting world so in need of levity. To able to laugh at ordinary–sometimes dull and sometimes painful–events of our daily lives–while not taking ourselves so seriously–is truly a gift and so needed.

    I sat with a dear friend at Mass this morning. After her children, I was the first person she told that her cancer had returned. As the conversation continued, we discussed other friends and situations in our lives. “She needs to get some perspective!” My friend exclaimed out of great grace and love.

    Amidst many current trials, wgsullivan, it is tempting for me to respond to you: “Yes in your own words you ARE seemingly prudish! This is a stinking HUMOR column about REAL LIFE!” Rather, I will refer you to my my dear, cancer ridden friend’s quote.

  • wgsullivan

    Sorry Mrs. Rinehart. Was hoping to not offend you. I am, by the current cultures definition, prudish. Prudish when it comes to God’s name, mischievous when it comes to many other aspects of life. Some may accuse me of not being serious enough, at times.
    Hopefully God is smiling at both of us at this very minute.
    I will pray for your friend’s cancer situation as I pray for my father and his incurable cancer. The father that taught me to never use God’s name without the utmost respect.


  • krby34


    I just spent this weekend at three masses for my Parish as the Master of Ceremonies to the Liturgy. I was there because we had as our celebrant the Bishop of Baker, Most Reverend Robert F. Vasa, D.D. You see the Diocese of Baker, which is a very large area (over half of the state of Oregon), has only a single bishop and his travel from parish church to parish church is so great the visits for mass are what I would call rare and treasured. In order for all to enjoy a smooth and easy worship I ensured each person knew what they were to do when, and helped queue them when appropriate.

    As such I had the pleasure to hear his many versions of a similar homily. During his homily he used the first reading to help impress upon us all the awe and wonder of our God. He used the example of Abraham’s darkness and fear as Abraham tried to experience who God truly was in his meeting with God. He then spoke to Abraham’s ever faithful trust and obedience to God after this awareness.

    Bishop Vasa spoke to us about an irreverence we are developing in our faith, one that “tests God” and His mercy and understanding. He spoke to just this type of thing as you mention in your challenge to the author, where we slowly break down our own understanding of who God truly is. Bishop Vasa also recognized that Jesus did come to be, and still wants to be, our friend but not a casual and frivolous one but rather a serious mature friendship that truly expresses that each would lay down their life for the other. In Jesus we already know he would because He did indeed do just that.

    In scripture Jesus says “I do not come to abolish the Law but to fulfill it” and in our Gospel reading that is the point of Moses being there with Jesus. Moses is important because he represents the Law but after all is said and done Jesus is what counts and Moses fades away. Jesus upholds the Law, a new Law that is all the old Law but in a new perspective. One that does not loosen or lighten the Law but enriches and gives it deeper meaning. We commit sin first in our hearts not with our bodies, remember His teaching about the sin of adultery.

    So this long statement is to lay groundwork to defend your statement that even in humor our perspective ever needs to be right with God or it is not humorous to He who is our Father in heaven. Changing the spelling, changing the genre, changing the “perspective” are all just excuses to say relative to me this is not bad.

    That approach is not Catholicism it is the budding seed of Relativism.

    I would argue that anyone that first starts their defense of an article with their own credentials (nationally syndicated) in comparison to God (Creator of all that is seen and unseen) that this person needs to get some perspective. Humor should never be at the expense of someone else, it should be used in example of how we should always live our lives and that should never accept even the appearance of sin.

    I too do not say this to offend anyone but rather to help all of us that fall short of perfection (for those that did not catch it the “us” above does indeed include myself) to stop and take time to assist each of us make it to heaven. I have often found perspective from others when I was confident in my own “wisdom” to in time come to the true wisdom given me by the Holy Spirit because of my Confirmation.

    Praise to God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. May we all be blessed with His Love, Patience, and Understanding. Amen