The headlines boldly pronounced "Homeschooling Suffers Defeat in California," and right away I could feel the anxiety coming on, that prickly, heated, lightheaded feeling that accompanies the belief that I am no longer in control of things.
It was one of a series of occurrences that have shaken my comfortable world this Lent. Old anxieties, dormant for a time, resurface quickly: "Will that happen in our state?" "What if the diocese closes our parish?" "How much will the school taxes go up this year? Next year? During the next decade?" "How will our children cope with the changing world? Will they keep their faith or lose it?" "Will my parents become ill this year? Or next? Or during the next decade?" "What if I get sick?"
You get the idea.
We're in the homestretch of Lent, with the intensity of Holy Week upon us, and the Church knows that right about now good Christians everywhere need a boost in the faith department. So in God's perfect plan we were given for our meditation the miraculous event of Jesus raising his friend Lazarus from the dead. In front of a small audience of mourners, family and onlookers Christ accomplishes the impossible and proves His dominion over the natural law, over death itself. Similar to Christ's Transfiguration on Mount Tabor in front of Peter, James and John, this portion of the Gospel is intended to strengthen our faith for the hard times ahead. With a glimpse at the awesomeness of Christ we are reminded of the power of God's supernatural plan. It's like the pep talk before a big game; it's the "deep breath before the plunge."
It causes me, despite anxieties, to take a deep breath too. If Christ raises the dead then He can certainly watch over me, my taxes, my children, my aging parents. Call it the power of positive thinking, but it's more like rejecting a contraceptive mentality — an attitude that emphatically asserts "I am in control of what will happen to me and what won't because I know best what I really need." Even among people earnestly trying to live the Gospel message, this attitude seeps in like a poison. It prevents us from becoming the trusting servants we need to be. It fools us into believing that areas of our lives can be compartmentalized away from God. But if I acknowledge that I am His creation, then His will is my will, no matter the outcome.
So there is no question that Christ can control my taxes if He chooses to. He's got it all over the local school board. If I look to Scripture, however, I'm told He's not concerned about giving taxes to those in authority. He's only concerned with my giving to His Father what is His due.
Even further He very often chooses not to reward faithful followers with anything resembling worldly ease. How many of us can name wonderfully pious people who are asked to carry unusually heavy burdens in life? St. Teresa of Avila, a great example of saintly trust in the Lord, once said to Him, "If this is the way you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few."
Our faith in Jesus Christ does not dictate how smoothly our lives will run. Trusting in Jesus has very little to do with changing the uncertain world I live in; it has everything to do with changing me and how I respond to the world. When enough individuals start responding to Christ, the whole world can begin to change.
On Palm Sunday we recalled how easy it is to follow Christ in times of celebration and success. But during Holy Week we will witness the same Christ betrayed, abandoned, arrested, mocked, beaten and crucified. His dark days overshadow the smaller crosses in our own lives and our vision of His magnificence can become dimmed.
That's when our trust in Him is put to the test. We can allow His Passion to become a pit, where all of our own fears hold sway. We can be like almost all of His apostles and run away in our fears. If all of the things I most fear actually happened today, how would I respond?
Friendship with Christ demands that we respond with courageous trust. We know with certainty what the apostles did not at first understand: He is Risen, He is the Victor over death. That knowledge calls us to a deeper faithfulness and gives us reason to trust Him with our lives.
I recently read a reminder that Resurrection is not something Christ did, it is what He is. Through the sacraments we are one with Jesus Christ and God dwells within us in a mysterious and supernatural way. If He is the Resurrection, then we are invited to share in His victory over death. Even more, we share in His Resurrection right now, while we are living amid daily crosses. Trusting in Him leads to our own transfiguration, our own resurrection from crosses of all shapes and sizes, from small anxieties to overwhelming burdens.
Be not afraid. Pray, work hard, and remain faithful for the joy of Easter is nearly upon us.
