Many have written me saying they want to go public with their stories of abortion, but don’t know how to do so without their little ones finding out. This is truly a painful dilemma for the thousands of women who contacted Silent No More about wanting to attend the January press conferences around the U.S. but being unable to risk the publicity.
Joining Silent No More is a good idea even if you don't hold signs or speak. You might even e-mail your story to SNM’s founders, perhaps asking that if they use it in a newsletter, they use a pseudonym. Writing it down will give you some peace and relief from the strain of holding your secret inside.
A number of healing services have been planned for May that are designed to provide women beginning to face their abortion with a safe, private place to gather with others and experience God’s grace and mercy. Also, memorial services scheduled for October will provide women an opportunity to grieve for their aborted babies.
You might want to attend Operation Outcry: Silent No More's press conference in Washington, D.C. on March 24, to show your support of the “Donna Santa Marie” case (of New Jersey) and to bolster the message that abortion hurts women. “Donna Santa Marie” is petitioning the Supreme Court to hear her case; she was, at 16, forced by her parents to have an abortion. One thousand other women are represented also. (Details can be found at the National Foundation for Life Litigation Project website, by e-mailing coordinator and Tennessee state leader Karen Keitzman, or by calling 615-504-0337.)
You can attend these events without young children knowing the purpose. When my son was still in diapers, he grew used to my attending multi-day business conferences. From the time he was three, I went on women’s retreats while he stayed with his dad. He only knew that Mom was going to a nearby “place to pray” with other women. And besides, he and his dad had an “all-boys weekend!”
Another way to speak up is to submit a brief for Operation Outcry: Silent No More as a “Friend of the Court” in cases seeking to overturn Roe v. Wade and Doe v Bolton. You don't need to be female or post-abortive and you won't appear in court. The brief denotes agreement with the statement: “It is not in the human or legal interest of any mother to kill her own child. A mother's true interest is in her child's life and her relationship with her child. Roe v. Wade should be overturned.” It must be notarized, but the notary does not need to see the content, only that you signed it. The toll-free number for more information is 1-877-247-7582. Once completed, briefs will be posted on the NFLLP website above, so consider first if that is a risk you are willing to take.
I would also strongly encourage you to attend a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat or a post-abortive Bible Study like Hopeline in Connecticut. RV’s site lists over 100 retreats in North America and overseas. There are other state and national resources on the Post-Abortion Assistance webpage. All such counseling services are in strictest confidence.
Several of these websites have real people as chat/e-mail counselors who will “converse” with you online or on the phone. If you have no one to talk to, these great people have been where we are, and will listen to your story and keep it in total privacy.
Some post-abortive women become pregnancy counselors at pro-life help centers like Hopeline. U.S. Pregnancy Care Centers lists most of the 4,800 life-affirming agencies (3,400 in the USA and 1,400 outside the USA) and can help you locate one in your area. Even if you don't have time to counsel women, they are always grateful for volunteers (for example, to run the kids' crafts/games area at fundraisers and walkathons). You will make a difference. Several women who work at these centers are post-abortive, and you will feel so accepted and loved that it will help in your healing.
Knowing you are not alone is good, but talking or writing it out to someone who has “Been There, Done That” is important. So call someone. It is possible to share your story in strictest confidence and begin healing.
© Copyright 2003 Annie Banno
(Annie Banno is the Connecticut State Leader of SILENT NO MORE. To contact her or sign up to receive her free newsletter, e-mail [email protected].)
