Everything's about to change. God has called me to a special mission. In four months, I'll have a new home, a new name, and a brand-new family. I'm about to enter into something I can only imagine from where I'm sitting now: marriage.
My fiancé and I believe the sacrament of matrimony is more than just a ceremony for our family and friends. We believe our relationship will be objectively different on April 14, 2007 from what it was on April 13th. We believe that through the sacrament, God's grace will strengthen our love and commitment. We will be joined in a new way not only to one another, but to Christ. When we exchange our vows and consummate our union, we will become a living image of His love for the Church. But it's up to us not to desecrate that sacred image in the years that lie ahead.
That's why we're spending our engagement getting ready for marriage, not just for our wedding day. We're praying together, reading and discussing books about Catholic marriage, and seeking guidance from married couples whose wisdom of experience gives us an invaluable head start.
For the two of us, this is a time of anxious waiting, a time of joyful hope, and a time of diligent preparation. It's a lot like Advent, actually. During Advent, we anticipate the coming of Christ and we take steps to make ourselves ready for His appearance. Yes, He already "came" at the first Christmas, but we know that "He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead." And we want to be ready. So we take pause during this holy season to remind ourselves about what really matters. We set aside four weeks to remember the past and to anticipate the future, recalling what Jesus has done for us and asking ourselves what we will do for Him in return.
The Church is wise in her rhythmic repetition. It's too easy to get caught in a rut, to become so preoccupied with the ins and outs of our daily lives that we fail to keep focused on the ultimate reason for our existence: union with God forever in heaven. As an antidote to the human tendency to forget, the Church gives us Advent every year. Advent reminds us to remember, and invites us to respond.
I can't help but think that we would do well to apply this method of annual recollection to other areas of our lives, like marriage for instance. Imagine if all married couples set aside four weeks before their wedding anniversaries every year to "prepare" for marriage by praying, reading, discussing and seeking wisdom from others. Imagine if they set aside even one week to remember what it was like to be engaged, to recall the joy and wonder of their wedding day, to eagerly anticipate and plan for spending the rest of their lives together. I bet it would help marriages, and families, and all of human civilization.
Some people probably think I'm too naïve. I haven't experienced any of the trials and tribulations of marriage yet. It's all joy and optimism and hope right now. But it's not that I ignorantly expect marriage to be free of suffering. The vocation of marriage is a call to lay down our lives in a total gift of self (cf. Eph 5:21-33). That isn't always easy. I believe that when I walk down the aisle on April 14th, in many ways I will be walking to the Cross. But that's part of love. I am willing to sacrifice for my fiancé because I love him, just as Jesus was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice out of His love for us. The Cross is part of the Christian journey.
Suppose history had stopped at the Nativity: the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay. No crown of thorns. No humiliation and rejection. No nail marks. And, well, no redemption. No salvation. And no victory over death.
Advent doesn't just prepare us to smile sweetly at Baby Jesus. Advent prepares us to die with Him so that we may also rise with Him (cf. Rom 6:4-8). This means dying to our selfishness and crucifying our sins so we can become holy. That's a powerful formula for a happy marriage too. Entering into the spirit of Advent will help us become the people — husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, friends, siblings and neighbors — that God wants us to be. ‘Tis the season for new life in Christ.
