I completely LOVE this answer!

You don’t need to have 100 friends having 1 or 2 REAL friends is what matters……..I grew up just find having 2 or 3 really true and good friends instead of so many fake friends.

it’s “two cents” by the way

I really wish that the pervasive Homeschool vs Public vs Private school debate would stop being framed in this manner. Any time you pit schooling options against one another, everyone inevitably loses the argument. There are pros and cons to every solution… some people see options with more pros than others; thats why they make the choice that works for their family.

However one of the core question that goes into making the best decisions for your children is often ignored (or at least not discussed openly): “Do I understand my child’s strengths and weaknesses intimately enough to make the appropriate schooling decision?” Trying to toute one schooling option as superior to another fails to acknowledge the unique character, skills, and attributes that each child possesses. It is my opinion that Children benefit most from a parent who tailor’s schooling decisions to the individual child wherever possible. For example, I have relatives who have three children: the youngest child goes to a private christian school, the oldest goes to a charter school, and the middle child is homeschooled. Each of these schooling choices is custom tailored to the child and can be changed by the parents should they begin to see that a different option would work better at any time.

Furthermore to act as if the term ‘socialization’ refers solely to forcing a child into a the masses mentality is a misstep in my opinion. There are children who legitimately have a difficult time learning how to relate to or empathize with human beings outside of their immediate family structure. In this case, I believe that a strong case could be made for placing the child in a closely monitored environment where they have the opportunity to interact with those outside their comfort zone. Not because the child is ‘weird’, but simply because the parent is exercising good judgement to help their child grow in a given area that could potentially become crippling for them down the road.

Again, it all comes down to parental involvement. A homeschooling parent who takes the ‘one size fits all’ approach can be equally in error as the parent who dumps there kid off in public school without a second thought. If you are not actively engaged in determining the best environment for your child, you’ve done them a great disservice- if you assume one size fits all you do yourself a disservice.

My wife and I both grew up experiencing all three of these options: private school, public school, and home school. We are unbiased in that we didn’t prefer any of the options over the other. What I really enjoyed growing up was the blend of benefits that came from all three. In private school I enjoyed celebrating my Christian faith with likeminded believers, in homeschool I enjoyed getting to work at an excellerated pace, in public school I loved being part of a great arts/music program that opened many doors for me later in my college years.

A giant pet peeve of mine is when homeschooling families talk down to, insult, or otherwise belittle kids who are have been raised in a private/public school. Homeschooling may seem like a small minority for some, but in many churches homeschooling is the prevailing method where they suddenly become the majority. When this is the case, things can turn downright nasty as some homeschooling parents teach their kids that public school kids are ‘demonic’, ‘unlearned’, ‘stupid’, ‘slow’, and on and on… I recently when in to receive CPA advice from a man who has 9 kids and homeschools all of them. Apparently he thought that I had been homeschooled all my life. He proceeded to degrade and insult families and children who weren’t homeschooled. I saw firsthand how is children (who also worked in his office) echoed this awful example set by their father with knowing, sly grins and snickers as their dad proceeded to denigrate his fellow human beings.

When is this type of attitude going to stop? Let’s be involved parents who love our children enough not to instill hatred into them. You can see it in these comments… there are homeschooled children posting about public school life (bullies knocking books out of people’s hands, cliques, etc). They are playing to stereotypical portrayals of what their parents have told them, what they have seen on TV. They are mimicking the bigotry of their parents. We live in a fallen, sinful world and it is unrealistic to think that sin won’t touch our kids in one way or another, be it in public, private, or homeschooling scenarios.

My point is not to convince someone of which schooling method is better. The crux of the matter is this: if parents spent less time criticizing other’s schooling methods and more time getting to know their children as individuals, the world would be a much better experience. There ARE weird homes schoolers. There ARE weird private schoolers. There ARE weird private schoolers. But mostly, there ARE just plain weird parents who don’t get the fact that they should be paying more attention to their children’s learning strengths/weaknesses instead of taking a hardline on some unrealistic one-size-fits all solution.

Sorry for the length of this one, but this is an issue extremely near and dear to my heart. As a father to two littles ones fast approaching schooling age, schooling decisions have been at the forefront of my mind. Frankly, I’ve been absolutely disgusted with the nastiness of biases from all sides of the equation. Consider this my sanctioned venting…

May God see fit to bless our Children with an education that best fits the way He uniquely crafted them.

Very well said, Stephen. Thank you for a balanced and thoughtful comment. My son is finishing up a three-morning/week Christian preschool, and is going to start half-day public kindergarten in the fall. If that doesn’t work out, homeschooling is our backup plan (private school is not financially possible for us). I belong to a Catholic homeschooling yahoo group, and the members there seem pretty non-judgmental. I have encountered much more judgment from the anti-homeschooling side. But I know that in some areas there is judgment to go around on all sides, and that is unfortunate.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/10/education/education-gap-grows-between-rich-and-poor-studies-show.html?pagewanted=all Whatever the setting I would want evey child to have the chance to reach their potential

Well said! What a great article. Our eldest daughter is ready to start school this fall and we have decided to homeschool. We’ve met with some resistance from our family members but are standing firm in our decision.

If you have any advice for me…i’ll take it!!

I am an emergency physician and have decided to homeschool my kids (5 and 3). It has always been a dream of mine to be mommy to children. My husband fully supports me. He is willing to work full-time (and then some) to afford me the luxury of staying home with the kids. Granted, I had a 15 year career as an ER Doc and loved it! But now that we have kids, my priorities have completely changed. Nothing I can do in the world of medicine will ever compare to the importance of the work I am doing with my kids.

I love how all homeschool parents think their kids are above-average and really smart. Some are, but most aren’t, friend. The smartest schooled kids are more competent at a whole lot of useful skills than any hometaught children I’ve met.

Well, now there’s a really well-researched opinion. And one that adds a lot to this discussion.

Hmm, you like the article, but then go on to make negative generalizations about homeschoolers. Nice.

Thanks Zagamaph. I know if i had been homeschooled by my parents, I would have been alot less well rounded. and they never could have taught me foreign languages. There are things I did not like about school (the size) and things I did like.

I do see both sides of this issue, and as I’ve mentioned several times, we are sending our son to public kindergarten next year, with homeschooling as our backup plan. But I’m certainly not going to make generalizations about homeschooling families taking handouts, or criticize them because the mother doesn’t work. I have a small family, only one child, and I only work part-time because in my mind, my job is taking care of my son. And that’s much more important to me than “dressing him cute”.

Good article… I was one of those weird kids, but I went to public school and got wear the scars from being teased a lot… I have kids who are also “weird” that way, and some who are not…. most people confuse social skills with socialization, and don’t understand their implications…. If someone asks me the “what about socialization” question, then I will actually say, “Did you just ask me if my kids were weird?” LOL… Throws them off a bit… but then I explain that socialization is actually a political and social term, and has to do with making sure the “masses” conform… meaning that all people think and do what they are told to do by the majority. Social skills is what we do try to teach them, and yes, they have plenty of opportunity to learn them. Now that I have adults as well as children, people can see that they are a little weird, but not as weird as their mom, so I guess that is why they have stopped asking…. LOL…

So no woman who is educated should want to be a mother full time? Ridiculous. Many of us have advanced degrees yet have chosen to be full time mothers and even home school our children. It is the most important job I have ever held. I use my education every day. I

The argument presented in the article is “people will make fun of my children anyway because they are smart, so I might as well homeschool them so they can be smart and not have to deal with ridicule”
Except the fact that learning how to deal with ridicule and opposing viewpoints is a part of growing up. How you respond to it – silently, with a huge outburst, reactionary, loudly, quietly? You can protect your children now, but they will grow up and go out into the world as adults. And if your child never learned how to deal with people with opposing viewpoints, it may just cost them a job. It’s a sure bet that at least one of their future managers will be a “normal” person, that will test your kid’s resolve.

Office environments, retail environments, factory environments, etc are often split into cliques, filled with people you don’t necessarily want to know and don’t want to be friends with, but you have to deal with and perform alongside. What does that sound like? Oh! High school! Your child may be lucky and avoid these social pitfalls yet again, but I think it’s rather unlikely. A person doesn’t have to change themselves, simply put on a mask now and again and nod along until you get a new job or move up the ladder. THAT’s the socialization kids have to learn. If your kid learned it, good. But from my experience with homeschoolers, they’re woefully unprepared to deal with people that don’t agree with their carefully boxed little world, completely controlled by the parents.

What you learned from that AP course was sometimes there are two ways to get to a goal. It is beneficial to know that every now and then, sucking up will get you through something that’s totally out of your league, so you can succeed later in life. And you think this was a bad thing to learn?

While I agree that homeschooling can be a fine choice, it is a blanket statement that a kid who questions things and has a wide range of interests will be ridiculed and stuck into a label. My daughter is a little “out of the norm”, if you will. Completely different than her more annoying (honestly, she is mine, I love her, but she is annoying!) 3 year old sister. We kill ourselves financially for her to be in Catholic school. Some would argue that this choice is even more oppressive than public school, but we have found quite the opposite. In fact, they are taught anti-bullying from the start. If we were to homeschool the elder daughter, it would be a disservice to her. Her school, as many non-home-schools, encourages the academic questions but helps her with the social rule-following that, while some frown on it, I feel is necessary for an adult to learn from childhood to function in the workplace and just the adult world in general. Questions are great. Not knowing when to follow the corporate culture and the time and place to voice those great thoughts…not so great. We all know those adults who cannot keep their mouths shut, no matter where they were schooled. Just my 2cents. I have no issue with anyone’s choice of schooling, and I believe there are homeschoolers who work very hard to accomplish all of the above. I give kudos to you because I know I could not accomplish this with my three. Just accepting my limitations and I feel schools are great for those of us who cannot. But please, consider that the brightest and most intelectually unique can also benefit from that socialization and order, especially since some, like my own daughter, have trouble self-regulating that and need the examples. I do not believe that uniqueness need be stifled or ridiculed in a formal environment. School is a collaboration of parent, child and teacher(s)/administration. I’m an at-home mom at this time, just as a background. EVERYONE believes their own children are unique, by the way. Everyone’s situation is unique, just support other moms’ decisions to know what works in their gut for their kids. As parents, we also need to remember the precious children in our charge will have to function in a world beyond us. I struggle w/ this daily.

Thank you for saying something. I’m new to this page and cannot believe how people are snapping at others, this is a Christian page! The least you can do is be polite in your responses and if you don’t know how, say nothing at all.