December 27, 2015
The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
First Reading: Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14
http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/122715.cfm
There are certain things it is easy for us to take for granted. The sun will come up tomorrow morning. The winter will be cold. The summer will be hot. Death and taxes will persist. But something (or should I say “someones”?) we should never take for granted is our parents. When we first come into this world as children, we don’t realize how amazing it is that two people who didn’t even know us decided to launch us into existence through a co-creative act with God in which he specially created a new human soul. As the very first mother said, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord” (Gen 4:1 RSV). The Lord knows that we are rarely thankful enough for the great gift of life.
The Commandment
In this Sunday’s first reading from the book of Sirach, we hear about honoring Mom and Dad. Sirach is reflecting on the Fourth Commandment: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which the Lord your God gives you” (Exod 20:12 RSV). It might seem odd that God would enshrine respect for parents in the Ten Commandments, right after the commandments directly related to himself. Yet I think he does so to indicate not only how important it is for us to honor our parents, but to teach us. But what does this commandment teach us? Well, we can’t see God, so it is easy to forget he is always there, ready for us, listening to us. But we can certainly see our parents and, in fact, our childhood relationship with our parents is very much like our relationship with God. They are far more powerful than us. They know more than we do. They love us. In fact, they even participated in our creation. Early on, we are totally dependent on our parents. In the same way God’s power, knowledge, and love far surpass ours and we are totally dependent on him. If we can learn to honor and love our parents, then we can come to honor and love God too.
Stages in Our Relationship
Our relationship with our parents goes through some dramatically different stages. At first, we are totally dependent on them—just think of a nursing infant crying out for his mother. But at the end, our parents become dependent on us. When the mind starts to go and calls need to be made to doctors and nursing homes, the tables have turned. In between those two extremes, we grow less and less dependent on our parents as we age. We all know how eager teenagers are to be freed from parental control since they can taste a bit of independence, but are still in many ways “dependents.” First, we start with total dependence. Second, we are only partially dependent on our parents. Third, we become independent and live our lives separately for some time. Yet, in the last stage of our relationship with our parents, they become dependent on us. Obeying the Fourth Commandment includes obedience in childhood and care for our parents in their old age.
The Blessings of Obedience
The command to honor one’s parents is reiterated by St. Paul:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
“that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.”
(Eph 6:1-3 RSV)
He points out that this is the one commandment among the Big Ten that has a specific blessing attached. God will honor our obedience with the blessing of long life in the land. Sirach expands on what this blessing consists in here in our reading. In fact he lists out six distinct blessings attached to honoring our Mom and Dad:
- Atone for sins (Sir 3:3)
- Store up riches (3:4)
- Be gladdened by children (3:5)
- God hears our prayers (3:5)
- Live a long life (3:6)
- Refresh one’s mother (3:6)
(Now the Lectionary text adds a couple lines in v. 3 that are only in the Latin version of the text, not the Greek, “and he preserves himself from them [sins]. When he prays, he is heard.” These lines reiterate blessing #4 and add a new one: preservation from sin.) These blessings are not intangible, but neither should we take them in an overly-literal way. It is not as if obeying your mother will make you materially rich. In fact, Jesus encourages us to store up treasure in heaven, rather than on earth:
Sell your possessions, and give alms; provide yourselves with purses that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. (Luke 12:33 RSV)
Honoring our parents, whether as children or as adults, represents not only our attitude toward others, but our attitude toward God. If we are generous in obeying and honoring them, then we will likewise generously honor God.
Humble Respect
During this Christmas season, when we honor the baby Jesus, his Blessed Mother, and his foster-father, St. Joseph, we can see in their family dynamics what real honor toward parents looks like. If God could humble himself enough to honor two human beings as his parents and be obedient to them, then we can certainly humble ourselves enough to fulfill the Fourth Commandment. I certainly want some virtue “credited” against my sins, as Sirach promises (3:14). It is always amazing to think that two people went out of their way to bring me into the world, to care for me, and to send me out into life. The least we can give in return is due respect.
