My dad had this saying (well he had a lot) “Just look like you know what you’re doing and people will believe you.”
So in my constant quest to maintain HotMom status and help Womankind do the same, I thought of my dad’s famous line as I cleaned up dog pee courtesy of my triple-bladdered-minature dachshund while the pungent fragrance of vinegar wafted in the air (courtesy of the 3 gallon jug from the wholesale club). I was fighting frustration thinking, This is the least hot thing I could be doing right now! How is cleaning up pee and breathing vinegar fumes Hot I mean, after 24 years of domestic bliss, I’m sure I look like I know what I’m doing, but do I look hot doing it?
And could/should I be doing something more productive and fun with my day? Should I time it so I’m wiping up pee when my husband arrives home from work so not only will he not have to ask, “So what did you do all day?” To which I typically answer, “uhhhhhh”, he’ll think I’m productive? But, when I want him to think I’m the hottest, most wonderful sight to come home to, will he be turned off by this icky chore?
My mind wandered to the June Cleaver era mom who had on the dress, pearls, apron and cocktail in hand when hubby walked in the door. Maybe I should time it so when my hubby walks in the door after his long, stressful day at the office, I’m cleaning up the dog pee with one hand while wearing a dress, pearls, apron and holding his vodka tonic, no twist, in my other hand.
Then I remembered that women’s lib era idea of answering the door for your husband wearing nothing but saran wrap. And I thought, shoud I be wearing saran wrap while I mop up pee? Would it make this more fun? Would Scott find that hot? No wait—I still have children at home and with college tuition looming we don’t have the finances for their therapy.
Although…maybe I could wear saran wrap under my dress and time it so when my hubby walks in the door after his long, stressful day at the office, I’m cleaning up the dog pee with one hand while wearing a dress, pearls, apron and holding his vodka tonic, no twist, in my other hand.
Hmmm, I think I’ll go polish my pearls….