As I approach the second half of my final trimester of my 5th pregnancy, I am mindful of the wisdom God has bestowed upon me over the years via the soon-to-be 200 weeks of gestation I’ve enjoyed. And by enjoyed, I probably mean endured. And when I say endured, I should probably add the word grudgingly to the front. Because I’m the very picture of maternal grace and fortitude, haven’t you heard?! Gaw.
So in celebration of being almost almost done, I thought I’d share just a few of my tips and tricks for surviving pregnancy with all of you, starting with…..
Dwija’s 5 Favorite Exercises for Pregnant People
1) The Clutter Buster
Locate an item of clothing or small toy that has been abandoned in the middle of the floor by a kind member of your family or their equally generous friends. I mean, they obviously know you’re looking for a way to get in a workout.
Balancing on your left leg, use your right foot to pick the item up off of the floor, using your toes as if they were fingers. Channel your inner monkey if you must. Quickly pass the item from foot to hand.
Repeat with opposite leg.
Advanced Level: toss the dirty laundry or toy into its proper receptacle using your foot, bypassing any hand participation whatsoever. Keep those abs tight, ladies!
2) The Kneeler Wobbler
Go to Mass. Attempt to kneel without your belly ricocheting off the back of the pew in front of you.
Advanced Level: bring toddler(s) with you.
3) The Tub Lift
This exercise will focus on your upper body, particularly the bicep and shoulder regions.
Purchase a reasonable quantity of ice cream, “reasonable” naturally meaning you’ll be dealing with a handled bucket. Lift and lower the bucket repeatedly as you walk from your car to your sofa.
Don’t forget the spoon!
Advanced Level: two buckets + two arms = fit and toned
4) The Hoover Mover
If you’re seriously pressed for time, this one will work your whole body. Time management for the win!
Turn on the vacuum cleaner without clearing the floor first. Attempt to maneuver your machine around the toys and clothing and pieces of tupperware whilst children careen about recklessly and accuse you of “really trying to ruin my stuff for real this time”.
Advanced Level: Instead of walking while pushing, do lunges.
Super Advanced Level: Combine Clutter Buster and Hoover Mover for a truly aerobic experience. You’re welcome.
5) The Flapping Flamingo
First, balance on one leg. Without bending over, attempt to insert free leg into a pair of pants which you cannot see because your mid-section is completely obstructing your view. When your toe gets caught in a belt look and/or pocket, flap your arms wildly in an attempt to remain upright.
Advanced Level: Perform this exercise during the last 3 weeks of pregnancy.
In some circles, this procedure may also be referred to as “getting dressed”.
You can thank me later.
Dwija Borobia lives with her husband and their four (soon-to-be-five!) kids in rural southwest Michigan in a fixer-upper they bought sight-unseen off the internet. Between homeschooling and corralling chickens, she pretends her time on the internet doesn’t count because she uses the computer standing up. You can read more on her blog house unseen. life unscripted.