The Catholic Church has recently confirmed its long-standing prohibition against the ordination of homosexual men to the priesthood. This has provoked criticism from pro-homosexual activists. It appears that in the recent past dispensations from the rule have been granted and that the results have not been positive.
What a Priest Is and Is Not
A man with untreated Same-Sex Attraction (SSA) should not be ordained a priest because, until he receives some form of healing he is not free – psychologically, emotionally or spiritually to marry or to become a priest who is the sign of Christ, the bridegroom of the Church. According to Catholic teaching:
• Priesthood is not a job opportunity or even a career. A priest is a man called by God; he has a divine vocation.
• A priest is called to a sign of God’s fatherhood.
• A priest is called to image Christ, the bridegroom whose loves the Church his bride with spousal love which is the pattern for married love.
• A priest is called to participate in the brotherhood of priests in unity with the bishops and the Pope.
• A priest is called to holiness, which must be built on psychological wholeness.
• A priest is called to live heroic virtue.
• A priest is called to chastity. In the Roman rite all priests take a vow of celibacy.
• A priest is called to obedience.
• A priest is called to serve the truth.
• A priest is called to love – not erotic love (eros in Greek) but self-giving love (agape love) — the love which makes a man ready to lay down his life for his friends.
While men with SSA may genuinely desire to be good priests, the very nature of the problem from which they suffer make it difficult for them to be all that a priest is called to be. SSA is a developmental disorder. Men with SSA are real men, who as boys felt “different” from other males. From the spiritual point of view, SSA can be viewed as the internalization of a lie about the self. Since this process occurs when the child is very young, the child is not morally responsible and cannot be said to have chosen SSA. As the child matures, same-sex sexual desires emerge. Again the adolescent does not choose to have same-sex attractions. However, the lie can become so engrained, so tangled in net of psychological defense mechanisms, that the man truly believes that he was born “gay” and may even insist that God make him that way. It takes time and hard work for a man who has lived for years inside this lie to find his way out, but it is not impossible.
Love: Spousal, Obedient, and Brotherly
A priest must be a man of truth. He must know the truth about himself – namely that he was made by God to be fully and completely male. He must understand the nuptial meaning of his own body. A priest surrenders his right to take a wife and become a biological father, and accepts God’s call to become a father for all and take the Church as his bride. How can a man who finds spousal love alien be a sign of that love for all?
The love between two men cannot be a sign of spousal love. The fraternal love between two men is the basis for the brotherhood of priests, and fraternal love is in its essence non-sexual. A man with SSA cannot surrender his right to an intimate, permanent, loving relationship with another man, because he has no right to such a relationship. A sexual relationship between two men whether a one-night encounter or a permanent committed relationship is always objectively sinful.
A man with SSA who has convinced himself that he was “born gay”, that “gay” is good, and that change is impossible necessarily rejects the authority of scripture and the unchangeable moral law presented therein. This rejection is rarely confined to that single point of theology. Men who self-identify as “gay” routinely reject the Christian teaching on sexuality in other areas.
SSA often begins with a boy’s inability to see his father as a model; therefore it is common for men with SSAD to have problems with father figures and with authority.
Brothers don’t have sex with brothers. Healthy men have a natural negative reaction to effeminacy in other men and to the very idea of genital acts between men. Most men don’t like being viewed as a sex object by another man. The close bonding within a group of men which creates a healthy solidarity is predicated on the unspoken agreement that the relationship will be totally and absolutely non-sexual.
Called to Live Heroic Virtue
Some have argued that since men with SSAD have suffered rejection and oppression and are sensitive persons, they are uniquely qualified to be priests. However, if they are unhealed—and not only unhealed but unwilling to do the hard work required to be healed— then they are clearly unqualified to examples of the power of the gospel to set men free. SSA is associated with depression, self-pity, envy, and other problems which directly affect a person’s spiritual life. Men with SSA often seek escape through self-comforting behaviors, including substance abuse, sexual fantasy, pornography, acting out alone or with others.
Christians have too often failed persons with SSA, failed to pray for them and failed to help them find healing. Like the priest and the Pharisee in the parable of the Good Samaritan, Christians have passed by on the other side. Now in a misguided attempt to remedy that past failure some are suggesting that these deeply wounded men should be ordained priests. Such thinking is born out of ignorance concerning the causes and effects of SSA.
It is important to recognize that SSA is a problem to be healed, not the true identity of the person. Nor is it an either/or proposition. Many men have same-sex temptations or same-sex sexual experiences in their youth and grow up to be free of such problems – although embarrassed and ashamed. SSA is best viewed as a symptom of an underlying problem. The younger a man is when the problem is addressed, the greater the possibility of complete freedom. Careful discernment by spiritual directors and absolute honesty from applicants to the seminary are essential.
What about men with SSAD who have already been ordained as priests? Their bishops have a duty to see that therapy and spiritual direction aimed at healing the underlying conflicts is available in every diocese for every priest. Spiritual directors and lay men who provide such therapy and/or spiritual direction must be men of good character who accept without reservations Christian sexual morality and also understand of the causes of SSA and most effective methods of treatment.
Dale O'Leary is a freelance writer, editor of Heartbeat News, author of The Gender Agenda: Redefining Equality and The Art of Raphael: Coloring Book. Her conversion story appears in Spiritual Journeys. She is currently working on a book on forgiveness and recently spoke at the Canticle Conference in Dallas TX..