When Holidays Divide

The holiday season can be a real challenge for families that are in disunity in matters of faith. How should a Catholic handle the stress of holiday celebrations and traditions in a familial situation where there is no religious unity?



I have found that when respect is shown to those of other faith traditions, often more respect is received for my Catholic traditions. When we were a divided family, I would ask the non-Catholic members of the family what their priorities were as far as Christmas services at their church or family gatherings. Then I would compare that to my schedule of Masses or other celebrations. I did the best I could to fit my own schedule around that of my family members. When there was a conflict, I did my best to explain the importance of the activity I had scheduled in terms that a Protestant would understand. I was careful to word things so that I was as inoffensive as possible. Sometimes that meant translating things into Protestantese. Advent became “the Christmas Season.” Epiphany became “the celebration of the visit of the Magi.” Sometimes by explaining something in familiar terms, it becomes less threatening.

As much as my conscience would allow, I joined into my Protestant family's celebrations. I never put pressure on them to attend any of our Catholic celebrations, though they knew they were welcome. I made sure to uphold family traditions like Christmas dinner and an evening of Christmas music and Christmas tree lights. I wanted the holiday to feel as warm and familiar to my non-Catholic family as possible. Meanwhile, the delight that my daughter and I felt as new Catholics enjoying our first Advent in the Church created such interest in the rest of the family that we found opportunities to share in a positive, non-combative manner, what Christmas meant to us.

Let your non-Catholic family members know that you are as concerned that they are blessed by the holiday season as you are. Go out of your way to accommodate their wishes, but don’t compromise your need and responsibility to honor your own Catholic faith in this holy season. Let the joy of Christmas be seen in your love for those who do not understand your Catholic faith.

© Copyright 2003 Catholic Exchange

Patty Bonds is a Catholic convert who lives in and writes from Phoenix, Arizona . She is the founder of Mary's Mantle, an apostolate to serve Catholics who are experiencing family opposition to the faith. Her brother is James White, an anti-Catholic author and speaker. If you are interested in joining Mary's Mantle or know someone who needs this kind of support, Patty's email address is patty@marysmantle.org.

Subscribe to CE
(It's free)

Go to Catholic Exchange homepage

MENU