Dear Grace,
I’ve read many articles lately on the importance of baptism. However, I need information on what happens if someone renounces their baptismal rights, as my sister’s family has done by leaving the Church.
They are my children's godparents. I am the godparent to one of their children. I know we can't change godparents, but can we ask someone to be surrogate godparents, since they are abdicating this position? What does this means to me as a godparent to their child, and to them as godparents for my children? What will happen to the souls of my sister’s family? I've told them their souls are in jeopardy but have nothing concrete to point to for this. What do they need to do to rectify their situation, and what besides prayer can I do to help them?
Grace answers: I can certainly sense your concern and disappointment. In asking your sister and her husband to be your children’s godparents, you had every reason to hope and believe that they would be good examples for your children and help you in raising them in the Catholic faith. And you promised this also when you agreed to be a godparent to their child. Now, in your eyes, all that has changed because, as you say, you believe that your sister’s family has renounced their baptismal rights by “leaving the Church.”
Before going any further, we need to be careful what we mean when we say “leaving the Church.” It is a very broad term with many variations. First of all, to renounce one’s baptismal rights or vows is a formal act that is generally made by individuals, not families. Thus, you would normally not refer to a family as renouncing their baptismal rights. In fact, many Catholics who stop attending Mass, or attend other churches, do not formally “leave the Church,” but rather they simply become unfaithful Catholics. Yes, in doing so, they may step outside of communion with the Church, and thus not able to receive the sacraments, but they continue to be Catholic, although non-practicing. Some, of course, do leave in a formal way and never come back, but many do return. Because we do not have in-depth knowledge of your sister’s case, we can only proceed with a response to your questions at the level of principle.
Asking someone to be a “surrogate godparent” cannot be done, at least not in any official sense. You can, however, do everything possible to have faithful Catholic adults and young people involved in your children’s life. They cannot be godparents, but they can play a positive role in their lives as you had hoped the godparents would. If the baptism was conferred validly, then the original godparents remain the godparents, even if they become unfaithful ones.
What this means to you as a godparent to their child, mainly, is that you will experience much disappointment, as you already are. You can try to do your best to be a good godparent to your sister’s child, within the limitations of the situation, and certainly always pray for them and their return to the Church. It is sad to say that many godparents do not take their role very seriously. But they should. Rest assured that all of this has no impact on the status of your children in the Church. They still have godparents, although not faithful ones, because they are doing nothing to teach them the Catholic faith, as they promised before God that they would.
You are correct in telling your sister and her family that their souls are in jeopardy. Lapsing away or formally leaving the Catholic Church is an objectively mortally sinful act, and thus is a very serious matter. Keep in mind, however, that mortal sin requires full knowledge that the act is mortally sinful and complete freedom of the will. Your sister would have to know that what she is doing is mortally sinful, meaning risking her eternal salvation. This is something that she would need to discuss with a priest in confession — it is not a matter for you or me to judge.
To rectify their situation, more than likely, they would simply need to go to confession and have a firm purpose of amendment. It is a strong possibility that they have not really formally left the Church, so formal retraction of errors (in the rare cases it occurs) is not likely needed. Besides prayer, continue as you have already done, kindly confronting them, and offering to talk, or to put them in touch with people who can talk to them.
© Copyright 2005 Grace D. MacKinnon
For permission to reprint this article, or to have Grace speak at your event, contact Grace MacKinnon at grace@DearGraceMinistries.org.
Grace MacKinnon holds an MA in theology and is a syndicated columnist and public speaker on Catholic doctrine. Her new book Dear Grace: Answers to Questions About the Faith is available in our online store. If you enjoy reading Grace’s column, you will certainly want to have this book, which is a collection of the first two years of “Dear Grace.” Faith questions may be sent to Grace via email at: grace@DearGraceMinistries.org. You may also visit her online at www.DearGraceMinistries.org.
