In an earlier age, The Last Legion (Weinstein) would be a sword-and-sandals adventure in which audiences expected Robert Taylor, Jean Simmons, a cast of thousands and maybe some chariots and a slave revolt.
But director Doug Lefler and screenwriters Jez Butterworth and Tom Butterworth evidently didn't even have a budget for fake blood. The result is a sometimes charming, but ultimately dull, epic with leaden dialogue about the ancient Roman roots of King Arthur.
It's A.D. 460. Young Romulus Augustus (Thomas Sangster) is crowned emperor of Rome, but he's only king for a day because the Goths come a-pillagin', killing his parents and everyone else in sight. You can tell, because swords are flashed and bodies pile up, but overt violence is nil.
Fortunately for the lad, some of his legionnaires, led by Aurelius (Colin Firth), are still loyal, and spirit him away to Capri, which, he is told, was one of Julius Caesar's prisons. But ho! It's more like Caesar's palace, and if one presses Caesar's eye in his mosaic, one ends up at a statue of old Caesar himself holding Excaliburum, a powerful magic sword.
All that's left now is to high-tail it to Brittania where there's one remaining legion loyal to Romulus and bad guy Vortgyn (Harry Van Gorkum), who sports a shimmering gold mask. Will Romulus leave his sword in a stone, one wonders?
Support comes from a decidedly hammy Ben Kingsley as Ambrosinus (or Merlin, if you prefer), who is given to platitudes such as "Every living creature has a destiny. Be sure of it." Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai as warrior princess Mira lends the exotic touch. Her character is so asexual, though, that the anticipated romance between her and Aurelius is never developed.
The film contains violence merely confined to bloodless swordfights. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is A-II — adults and adolescents. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is PG-13 — parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.
