As a Jewish convert to Catholicism (and a father and grandfather), I have always felt it was important to have a right of passage into manhood for our sons or our grandsons, analogous to a Jewish Bar Mitzvah. Robert Lewis, a popular evangelical Christian writer, does describe a rite of passage in his book, Raising a Modern-Day Knight, A Father's Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood. I was delighted when I found out that John Ream, a strong Catholic man of God, had written the following article on his website at EffectiveFathers.com. John is also the author of Velvet and Steel, A Practical Guide for Christian Fathers and Grandfathers. Copies of this book are available at the National Fellowship of Catholic Men website. — Maurice Blumberg
Thoughts for a Christian Bar Mitzvah
When: I usually schedule a boy's Christian Bar Mitzvah (CBM) as they begin to mature into a man (about 14). They are then coming of age and should begin to take responsibility for who they are and what they believe.
Where: Any place you choose — you can do it right in your own home, or take them some place special for at least 3 days.
Schedule: I use the mornings for prayer, sharing and study. The first morning is devoted to roots, the second to values, and the third to my Christian walk. Afternoons are just for fun — fishing, hiking, a ball game… A time for making memories.
Share Family History: Give them a sense of who he is by acquainting him with his ancestors. If you have a genealogy he would probable love to see it. Share old Photographs and other memorabilia that have been passed on to you. Be sure you share how you met, and why you chose his mother/grandmother to be your wife.
Share Christian Values: The book of Proverbs is a good guide for teaching honesty, integrity, kindness, sensitivity, respect, honor and even tithing — What is to be a Christian man.
Share Your Christian Walk: Tell the young man how and when Jesus Christ became the Lord of your life. Talk about the people and events that have had a lasting impact on your relationship with God. Make Jesus real to him.
Sharing Prayer and Scripture: Tell him about how and when you pray, and the importance of God's community — His Church. Be sure to use Scripture throughout the three days. Convey that there is a wealth of wisdom waiting for him on the pages of his bible. This is an excellent time to provide him with a bible of his own from Dad/Granddad.
Let Him Share As Well: Encourage him to open up and talk to you about his friends, his fears, his dreams and plans and how he feels about himself. Be sure to ask what he believes, and how he intends to use God's gift throughout his life.
Pray with Him: Before and after each session… tell him you love him unconditionally and leave him with your blessing.
These are just ideas — you can use them, or you can do something different as the Lord leads. Each child will be different. Meet them where they are and lead them to the father through Jesus.
