The first question I put to myself concerning kindness is whether it is an obligation. The answer is complex: yes and no. Christians are obliged to be charitable. And since kindness is a species of charity, they are also obliged to be kind.
But this obligation must be understood in a general sense. Specific acts of kindness must be given freely. Therefore, they do not spring from obligation but from free acts of generosity. That is why we say “thank you” whenever we are the recipients of kindness. We recognize the simple fact that the benefactor was not required to be kind.
Two things are necessary for kindness to take place. One is the generous act of the one who is kind. The second is the need in the other. Kindness occurs when freedom and need come together. It is a most felicitous event. In every act of kindness, the heart is expressed, and a need is fulfilled. This complementarity touches upon the heart of the Christian message.
Kindness is praiseworthy because it requires overcoming a certain moral inertia. People have a reluctance to be kind because complacency is more immediate and desirable than inconvenience. To do nothing is easier than to do something. To say “thank you” is appropriate when receiving an act of kindness. It is a tribute to another for overcoming his inertia and taking the time and trouble to be kind. Kindness should inspire gratitude.
An act of kindness should not be replaced by merely saying, “I’m sorry,” yet, how often is that phrase used when kindness is requested? “Tom, can you help me with the dishes?” “I’m sorry, I’m reading the newspaper.” “Can you turn on the light, dear?” “I’m sorry, I’m going to sleep.” “Mom, can you help me with my homework?” “I’m sorry, dear, I’m just too busy.” We hope for kindness and often must settle for a lame excuse.
Acts of kindness have achieved a certain cultural popularity, and “random acts of kindness” has been encouraged to offset the prevalence of “random acts of violence.” February 17 has been established as “Random Acts of Kindness Day.” The celebration began in the United States and is now observed internationally. Acts of kindness need not be grand gestures but something as modest as a compliment. “I like your new shoes. You have good taste.” Kindness demands little effort, but its consequences can go a long way. It is hoped that “random acts of kindness” will continue to spread internationally, but also through the calendar. There is a Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. Its motto is “Make kindness the norm.”
It is laudable that acts of kindness are being promoted. It would serve the need for kindness more effectively, however, if we advocated for the “kind person.” The kind person has an infinite supply of kind acts in his quiver. He is ready for any occasion that begs for kindness. He is not merely usually kind, but always kind. The kind person is what Christianity encourages. It might also be said that expressions of kindness are not exhausting any more than the light of a candle is extinguished when it lights other candles.
Kindness may be expressed on different levels. It is multidimensional. The Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, illustrates the point when he states, “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” We can be kind in words, thoughts, and deeds, yet there is another form of kindness, about which little is spoken. It is, paradoxically, kindness which is not an act and remains invisible. We can be kind when we refrain from speaking unkindly to another or of another. We can be kind when we refrain from acting unkindly to another. God will remember these non-acts of kindness even if no one else can see them. They form the silent side of kindness.
A cynic once said that kindness is loving people more than they deserve. Perhaps no one is owed kindness, but everyone is eligible for it. Christ’s kindness was available for everyone. In fact, one of the fine features of kindness, is that it is unconcerned about whether another deserves or does not deserve kindness. Kindness does not discriminate.
Kindness is contagious. A video store manager asks his customers to reset their videos to the beginning. “Be kind, rewind” is the instruction. If the reader will pardon the pun, a recipient of kindness might be asked to “Be kind, re-kind.” Kind is both contagious and an inspiration that moves easily and naturally from one to another. Fr. Lawrence G. Lovasik, in his book, The Hidden Power of Kindness states that “A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.” A cup of kindness feeds the multitude. We may also say that acts of kindness are seeds that germinate in an instant.
How important is kindness? According to novelist Henry James, “Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” A world without kindness is, indeed, a dark and gloomy place. Kindness may be our first interface with another person. It has the potential, however, to inaugurate a lasting friendship.
