I know we are in the middle of Lent, that wonderful season of grace when we open ourselves more to the transforming love of God; and we try to live a more disciplined Christian life through increased prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. However, this week, after having just finished the fifth of five articles on the theme, “Being a Man of Humility,” I thought you might like to read some humor on humility. So take a brief break from your Lenten disciplines — and enjoy.
Ancient Proverb
Humility is like underwear. It is indecent when exposed.
A Lesson in Humility
Deacon Bob was walking down Main Street when he saw his friend Jack coming toward him with his head bowed low and a sad look on his face. “What’s the matter, Jack? You look like you lost your best friend.”
“Worse than that Deacon Bob,” said Jack. “Do you remember how at the Knights of Columbus banquet I was awarded the medal for being the most humble man in the parish?”
“Sure, I remember. It certainly was a happy day for you. What happened?”
“Well, yesterday I decided to wear my medal, and today the Grand Knight came to my house and took it from me.”
Heresy — Perhaps Not
In the year 1870, the Methodists in Indiana were having their annual conference. At one point, the president of the college where they were meeting said, “I think we live in a very exciting age.” The residing bishop said, “What do you see?” The college president, though a very humble man, responded quite boldly, “I believe we are coming into a time of great inventions. I believe, for example, that men will fly through the air like birds.”
The proud bishop angrily replied, “This is heresy! The Bible says that flight is reserved for the angels. We will have no such talk here.”
After the conference, the bishop, whose name was Wright, went home to his two small sons, Wilbur and Orville. And you know what they did to their father's view of heresy!
Trying To Be God
A very proud man told God, “Now that we have all our innovative technological developments, we can make a human being just as well and easily as you can.”
God said, “You're on.” So God reached down and out of a handful of dust created a new human being.
The man, thinking well of himself, said, “Now watch me.” And so he reached for some dirt.
“Hold on,” said God. “Go and create your own dirt.”
Being Presumptuous
An ad agent was seeking advertisements for the local paper and stopped in the village store, but the proud proprietor was quite arrogant and rude to the man.
“Get out of here. I don’t advertise. I don’t need to. I don’t need you either,” he said. “We’ve been in business nearly 80 years, and never advertised. If people don’t like what we have to offer — too bad.”
“Could you tell me what that building is on the hill?” inquired the agent.
“That's the village church.”
“Been there long?” was the next question.
“Oh, sure about 300 years,” reckoned the storekeeper. “With standing room only every week.”
“Well,” said the agent, “they still ring the bell every week, don't they?”
(Maurice Blumberg is Executive Director of the National Fellowship of Catholic Men. This article is part of NFCM's sponsorship of the Catholic Man channel. Contact NFCM at P.O. Box 86381, Gaithersburg, MD 20886, email them at info@nfcmusa.org, or call them at 301-519-0646.)
