In the spring of 1986, four men established the Catholic Men's Fellowship of Greater Cincinnati in the hope that they might attract other men to pray together, and support one another in their faith. This was long before the advent of Promise Keepers and at a time when it was uncommon for Catholic men to pray with one another and share their faith on a personal basis.
These four sent invitations to about 200 individuals and ten men showed up at the first gathering with only a vague notion of how to proceed. However, out of this modest beginning 21 years ago, a network of almost 200 Catholic men's fellowship groups has arisen throughout the Cincinnati region. Fundamentally, these men seek a personal relationship with Jesus by bonding with each other, in an atmosphere of trust, as they pray, share and minister to one another. The basic aim is to help men grow in holiness.
These Founders spent a good part of the early years prayerfully discerning a vision for the Catholic Men's Fellowship of Greater Cincinnati. It has been revisited a number of times, in prayer, through the years and has resisted change as we continue to feel that the Holy Spirit has called us to be:
Committed men, principally Catholic, who recognize our need for God's help. We gather in Christ's presence in an atmosphere of trust, equality and anonymity to share experiences. We unconditionally accept each other and prayerfully support one another.
Since the formation of the Catholic Men's Fellowship of Greater Cincinnati, over 40 regional Catholic Men's Fellowships (CMFs), similar to the Cincinnati initiative and supported by the National Fellowship of Catholic Men, have been formed around the United States. Most of them have conducted half day or day long conferences, for Catholic men, with speakers offering presentations aimed at enriching attendees' spiritual lives and issues that affect men. These large gatherings typically revolve around the Sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist being celebrated during the day. Most conferences have usually urged the attendees to gather with other men in their parishes throughout the year to pray together and support one another. Information on each of the Catholic men's conferences is available at the National Fellowship of Catholic Men website.
The group that formed at St. Gertrude Catholic Church, in Cincinnati, is a good illustration of how a typical small parish-based men's fellowship group works and looks. In fact, many of the fellowship groups, in the Cincinnati area, are formed along similar lines, as St. Gertrude's, and several serve as "incubators." These incubator parishes allow potential leaders to attend sessions with a mature group and then initiate a similar gathering in their home or adjacent parish.
St. Gertrude Parish formed a leadership team so that responsibilities were shared and a format was adopted that remains to this very day. It is important to note that this is a dynamic team so that responsibilities are rotated and men become competent in a number of areas. This is especially important for the facilitator's role. This leader must present a fresh, encouraging and effective tone to the discussion so that all participants feel valued.
St. Gertrude men gather at 7:30 a.m. on Saturday morning for coffee and doughnuts served by our hospitality chairman. At 7:45 a.m. our song leader exhorts the men to join in several opening songs that are robust in nature and — ideally — tie in with our discussion topic. The prayer leader follows with an opening prayer or petition and is joined by as many men as feel called to offer their own intentions. By 8:00 a.m., or so, the facilitator introduces the topic with Scripture and Catechism references. Discussion follows and the process comes to an end, with prayer, at 9:00 a.m.
This format encourages men to be honest with one another and openly share what is going on in their lives. It is important that a non-judgmental attitude prevail which means that trust must be high among the men.
Topics vary but an effort is made to make sure they relate to issues more germane to men and the sort of issues they grapple with on a daily basis. For example, one area that arouses intense discussion centers on Fatherhood and its spiritual aspects. For example: "How did your Father model a prayer life for you?" and/or "What does it mean to you that your Heavenly Father loves you unconditionally and how do you pass that on to your children?"
We have found a number of guides to be helpful. We often use Signposts published by The Word Among Us Press. Signposts contains 52 topics that focus on relationships, and other male oriented topics, with provocative discussion questions along with Scriptural and Catechism references. One of our men recently commented that "the beauty of Signposts lies in the fact that once we work our away through it we can start over because thinking changes over the course of 52 sessions."
A number of Emmanus Journey publications have served as excellent resources for our group over the years as well. Embracing the Kingdom and, more recently, Living in the Power of the Holy Spirit have fueled many a fine session among our men. Books like this not only prove to be helpful discussion starters but excellent tools for learning about — and enriching — our Catholic faith. Signposts, the Emmaus Journey publications, and many other fine Catholic men's group resources are available on the National Fellowship of Catholic Men website.
Today's technology enables us to inject some immediacy in our gatherings. Everyone is set up on email so that we can quickly communicate prayer needs, special requests and information about the upcoming fellowship sessions. For example, the leadership team will send out an e-mail several days before an upcoming session, which details the topic, Scripture and Catechism reference and a key discussion question or two. This email "alert" serves as a reminder and provokes the men to read and reflect on the topic ahead of time. This advance effort enriches the overall experience.
Many members of the St. Gertrude gathering have assumed other roles within the Parish as a result of their participation in the fellowship group. We have sponsored events for the parish featuring well known speakers, weekend retreats and information sessions on various Church documents. Our pastor, Fr. Ken Letoile, actively encourages the group, participates when he can and "loves having a men's fellowship group in my parish!"
What about you? Are you interested in joining or forming a Catholic men's fellowship group? For more information, go to the National Fellowship of Catholic Men website or send us an email at info@nfcmusa.org.
Kevin Lynch, Co-Founder of the Catholic Men's Fellowship of Greater Cincinnati and National Fellowship of Catholic Men.
