You know the one. It arrives the day after Thanksgiving. The envelope is double foil lined, the picture of the kids resembles a Gap ad — and the Holiday Letter should come with a warning: "Caution! May cause blurred vision, severe feelings of gross inadequacies and nausea. Do not drive motor vehicle or operate heavy machinery while reading this letter. See your doctor if symptoms worsen or you have the sudden urge to go on a Chocolate Binge."
Dear Family, Friends, Former Family members, and heck, even our Enemies —
Whew! Another perfect year in the Rinehart Household!
My annual January Spa Detox was so enjoyable I stayed clear through to February! I brought along six fellow Bus Stop Mommies and hired nannies and housekeepers to cover for them while we were gone. Every one of our husbands was so supportive of our need to get away — they surprised us with new Louis Vuitton luggage!
Our community suffered in March when our inner city library branch burned to the ground. Junior and Buffy organized a city wide fundraiser to benefit the rebuilding efforts, culminating with a black tie dinner dance and auction in April.
The Ritz Carlton donated their ballroom, meals and open bar. Cars were donated from every dealership in the city making the silent auction and raffle such a success the library was rebuilt and its entire inventory of books was not only replaced, but updated. Buffy and Junior personally oversaw the choices and installations of the computer equipment, classical music selections, and DVD collection. Nothing over a PG rating naturally!
In May we celebrated little Johnny's 7th birthday. God bless that boy — he insisted instead of gifts for him, all his party guests should bring canned goods and blankets for the homeless shelter.
Long, warm sunny days were spent as a family. Scottiepoo took off of work all of June and July — I mean, with Junior leaving for two years of Peace Corps service, when will we have this kind of chance again?
Nothing says Labor Day like a BBQ in Kennebunkport. I must say, I've never seen Laura looking happier. Babs and I rekindled our long-standing Scrabble championship. I must learn the proper etiquette for letting the President win.
I trust you all received the photos from Halloween. Johnny, in the costume his big sister designed and created, won the Best Costume Award at We're Smarter Than You Academy for Over Achievers.
November saw the Academy Homecoming come and go. Once again, Buffy was crowned Queen and Junior was voted Most Likely Not To Bankrupt The Family Business Upon Inheritance. (After, of course, he returns from the Corps!)
And here we are…December again! Scottiepoo and I are humbled our children's lists for Santa are selfless and brief — world peace, donations to 3rd World Country orphanages and a cure for cancer.
We hope this letter finds you happy. Do come see us if your travels bring you this way. The door mat at the gates of our guest chateau says, "Welcome" and we mean it!
God Bless Us Everyone, Kiki, Scottiepoo, Junior, Buffy and Johnny.
