Note: The National fellowship of Catholic Men is pleased to announce the availability of our first Blog for Men. The Blog contains multiple articles on important men’s topics and provides the opportunity for men to communicate with one another on these topics. The blog is accessible from the NFCM Home Page or you can go directly to it here. The article below is from the Blog topic, “The Battle for Sexual Purity.” This Blog topic already has many questions and responses by men.
Chastity. Purity. Physical integrity. Anti-pornography.
Whadaya think? One of the first challenges we face as men in dealing with this issue in our lives (and make no mistake about it, we all face this challenge) is how to describe it. Some of these terms hit men as very feminine. Anti-pornography speaks to one facet of the issue, but is not inclusive of the whole spectrum and is perceived by some as negative. More positive, but a bit less obvious is the “physical integrity” moniker. But does this speak to the whole continuum of this issue? We all realize this is much more than just a physical issue. It is psychological, physical, emotional, spiritual, etc. It is, in the final analysis however, about healing. Regardless of what you call it, however, we can all acknowledge the battle.
For about a year, four of the KC Catholic Men’s Fellowship (KCCMF) leaders have been involved in assisting our Archdiocese (Kansas City, Kansas) with establishing a boots-on-the-ground strategy for dealing with this horrific challenge to our personal, spousal, parental and societal well being. Like many sins, I have primarily focused on dealing with such issues individually. I gave relatively little thought to the familial or societal ripple effect. Simplistic as this sounds, I figured whatever problems I faced were mine to deal with. End of story. I could not have been more wrong.
Our advisory group began to meet with our archdiocesan folks to consider the full impact of pornography and discuss how to pragmatically deal with this issue. Under the inspired leadership of Archbishop Joseph E. Naumann, we were introduced to the initial study and awareness campaign called “As for Me and My House.” The “My House” theme comes from the challenge of Joshua (Joshua 24:15) to the men of ancient Israel. Those research results and information eventually became a video presentation by the Archbishop and diocesan staff about this explosive problem/challenge. Soon an informational kit was made available to every parish along with an educational video — which was shown in every parish during Mass.
With awareness now raised, we have begun several initiatives to “go deep” into the issue of men and sexual integrity. Here are a few of the initiatives now underway:
1. Creation of an advisory task force to oversee “boots-on-the-ground” efforts (this is what we four KCCMF guys head up).
2. Hiring of a full time Catholic male archdiocesan counselor with experience in counseling men on the full spectrum of sexual integrity issues from disordered attraction to full sexual addiction.
3. Creation of an emphasis to existing parish based small faith groups to incorporate general information and support services for men in the sexual integrity issue.
4. Creation of special weekly sexual integrity accountability groups in the archdiocese. We currently have three of these for men acknowledging their strong attraction/addiction to disordered sexual habits. Two are face-to-face meetings and a third is a teleconference meeting for rural participants and those unwilling to meet face to face with other men.
5. Dedicated phone “hot line” for men requesting assistance of varying degree. This is handled by the full time counselor.
6. Creation of multiple marketing materials and tools including Catholic accountability questions, bulletin announcements, conference materials, video and audio tapes, Catholic materials from other ministries, phone-based priest counseling, confessional hand-outs for priests to give men at reconciliation, on-line accountability software, etc.
7. Finally, we are considering the idea of a spouse based marketing campaign where wives of men struggling can call for support, materials, and training on how to begin a dialogue with their husbands.
8. We have partnered with non-Catholic, like-minded men and look forward to our fourth annual Men Of Valor conference dedicated to reclaiming sexual integrity. We also support and facilitate legal efforts to restrict sexually based businesses (porn shops, clubs, etc.). We have partnered with the wonderful National Coalition For the Protection of Children & Families. Recently scores of Catholic and non-Catholic clergy presented thousands of signatures to area District Attorney’s demanding action. The National Coalition’s Kansas City office has been successful in calling for two grand jury investigations into sexually oriented businesses. Both Johnson and Wyandotte counties in Kansas have begun selecting juries.
These are just a few of the initiatives envisioned as we begin a comprehensive effort to take back our lives, families, and diocese from the ravages of sexual sin. Needless to say, there is much more to be done, but we are in the battle. Will you join us in this battle in your home, parish, and community?
For information on diocesan materials, men’s faith sharing group tactics, sexual accountability groups, great online resources and more, contact dan@stjosephcenter.com. Dan Spencer, founder and director of The St. Joseph Center and current Chair of the Kansas City Catholic Men’s Fellowship.
