Teenagers love to argue. They question. They debate. They refute. Frequently, they argue with parents and siblings, often about things of little or no importance. Occasionally they argue with their peers.
Noticing this argumentative stage in our eldest, my husband and I set out very deliberately to capitalize upon it.
At the beginning of the academic year, we designed a curriculum that would teach him how to argue and what was important to argue. We knew that Michael’s world was expanding and that every time he left our home or the tight circle of our family and friends, he would be in a position to have our Faith and our beliefs challenged. We endeavored, very deliberately, to spend the entire year focusing on what we believe and why we believe it. Thus, the first year of his secondary education would give him a solid base upon which to build the rest. The added benefit is that when he leaves home, whether for a public or private high school or for college, he will know his Faith and he’ll know how to defend it.
Since we educate our children at home, we had the freedom to look at all subjects and gear them to this goal. For history, he could study the Catholic Church in the context of world history with a special emphasis on “hot spots,” times when the Church has been criticized or misunderstood. He could read great biographies of men and women of faith. For literature, he could read Lewis, Chesterton and Tolkein and truly examine how their faith colored their classics. For art, he could let Sister Wendy be his guide through art history. For science, he could consider the splendor of creation and the God who created it. The cornerstone of this course of study is an apologetics reading list to write about and to discuss.
I recognize that not everybody has the opportunity to design a child’s entire course of study. However, any parent can supplement a school curriculum with a few key books that will equip a child for life. Every Catholic teenager has a right to know his faith well enough to defend it and to understand the treasure that the Faith holds for him at the crossroads of his life.
Slowly, we are making our way through Catholic Christianity, by Peter Kreeft. Michael reads a small article a day and we discuss it. At this rate, the book will take more than a year to complete, providing much food for thought along the way. The first “apologetics” book he read was A Philadelphia Catholic in King James’ Court. It is fictional account of a teenager from Philadelphia who has to defend Catholicism in a small town in the Deep South. From there, he read the Prove It! series by Catholic Exchange columnist Amy Wellborn and Where is That in the Bible? and Why Is That in Tradition? by Patrick Madrid. These books are interesting reading for a teenager and invaluable resources to turn to again and again when they or someone they know has questions.
To understand the protestant perspective, Michael listened to Rome Sweet Home on audiotape. There, Scott and Kimberly Hahn trace their journey from the Presbyterian faith to the Catholic Church. He also read Welcome Home: Stories of Fallen Away Catholics Who Came Back by Victor Claveau, in order to better understand the treasure that he inherited as a cradle Catholic.
We wanted Michael to know that God has a purpose for his life and that the faith of his parents is part of the plan. Your Questions, God’s Answers by Peter Kreeft and We’re on a Mission from God by Catholic Exchange columnist Mary Beth Bonacci are written to provide teenagers with a context within which to ask and answer some of life’s most important questions: How can I find out who I really am? What will make me happy? Why is life so unfair sometimes? These are questions Michael will ask, but they are also questions that people will ask of Michael. When his peers have questions, Michael will have answers. Forming the young man to be an adult in the church is our primary focus of this time in his life. This is an awesome task which must be undertaken with a sense of purpose and responsibility on the part of his parents. And that purpose must be communicated to him again and again. Being a teenager is not about hanging out at the mall or chasing the pop culture; it’s about growing into the adulthood intended by the Creator.
Another book to discuss with teenagers is Real Love by Mary Beth Bonacci. Our children are bombarded daily by the culture’s perspective on sex and dating and marriage. It’s on the television, in the movies, in the newspapers and on the radio. It’s accepted and promoted and pushed upon them. We cannot sit idly by and wring our hands or shrug our shoulders and offer no alternatives as our pure, innocent children are devoured by the immoral. We need to offer them tangible alternatives and to support them in pursuing those alternatives. Bonacci’s book is must reading for both parent and teen.
One night over Christmas break, Michael was typing furiously as Instant Messages flew back and forth from our computer. He had entangled himself in a debate with a girl his age. A friend of Michael’s, tired of being bombarded with propaganda from a Presbyterian at her ballet school, had asked Michael to take over the debate. Michael jumped at the chance and a lively argument ensued. I was privileged to read the transcript of that argument. And I was overjoyed to see his clear, patient defense of his faith. Michael spends a great deal of time online, chatting about nothing much with a ridiculously long list of “buddies.” On this night, however, he had planted a seed that may someday bear fruit in a young girl’s soul. And he managed to write a very nice “school paper” without me assigning it!
(Foss is a freelance writer from Northern Virginia. This article courtesy of the Arlington Catholic Herald.)
