In Mark’s Gospel, Jesus tells us, “Whoever wishes to come after Me must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Me” (Mk 8:34). What are the crosses in your life?
Depending on our own particular vocations and individual stage of life, we each have our own challenges.
My mother used to tell me that the day we get married, we pick up our cross! While that may seem to be an unusually negative view of marriage from a woman who has been married to her high school sweetheart for over forty years, there is some truth to the statement. Marriage involves giving up oneself for another. Love means putting your spouse first.
Ideally, this goes both ways, with the husband sacrificing for the good of the wife and the wife sacrificing for the good of the husband. But life is not ideal, and it often seems like one party is giving up more for the other. (Ironically if you ask both parties in a marriage, each will probably maintain he or she is doing most of the giving!) Add children to the mix and the need for sacrifice grows even more. Love requires it.
It sometimes seems as if many people forget that component of marriage. They want the joy and companionship of marriage, but they don't want the work. They don't want to give up any of their individuality. They don't want to put the marriage before their own needs or desires.
But Jesus tells us that following Him means offering ourselves up and accepting the challenges that come our way with a willing heart. He calls us to love as He loved — completely. Those of us who are married love Jesus and follow Jesus when we love our spouses and children. When we clean the house for the umpteenth time, take out the trash, make dinner, do the dishes, change diapers, nurse broken hearts and kiss away boo-boos, we are serving and loving Jesus. When we put aside something we wanted to work on in order to read a book or play a game with our children, we are serving and loving Jesus. When we listen and truly pay attention to a spouse talk about the joys and sorrows of his or her day, we are serving and loving Jesus.
We do not need to search for our cross. There are a hundred opportunities in every day to deny ourselves and serve another. Jesus is calling us to love fully and completely. In doing so, we follow His lead.
Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur has a Master of Arts in Applied Theology from Elms College, and is editor of SpiritualWoman.net. She is also the author of Letters to Mary from a Young Mother (2004).
(This article is adapted from a weekly column Patrice writes for CatholicMom.com, and is used by permission.)
