This is what I get for staying up late with my kids and watching 17 Tivo’d episodes of Scrubs. Why am I awake and functioning this early? Oh right, the roofers are scheduled to arrive and seeing as how it’d be rude to leave a note on the door reading, “Let yourselves in, I’m sleeping. Make coffee before you wake me with your hammering,” I opted for being awake, dressed and armed with caffeine. That was two hours ago.
Naturally, my children are snug in their beds in their quiet, cave-like rooms; the blinds closed tight with the soft purr and caressing breeze of the ceiling fan. So. Not. Fair. I want to crawl in there with them.
Note: It’s summer and this type of slack behavior wouldn’t happen during the school year. No really, it wouldn’t. Honest. I’m lying. There have been occasions where, once the kids were loaded safely into their school busses, I shuffled back to the house and straight for the couch. Somehow, going back to sleep on the couch with Fox News in the background didn’t plague me with guilt as much as crawling back into my actual bed. Besides, I always had a perfectly justifiable reason for needing more sleep – a cat fight woke me up in the middle of the night. The dog had the flu. I was out of half and half for my coffee. Some small child in China had the flu.
I wish I were more like other Super Womanesque Bus Stop Mommies who have an entire day’s worth of domesticity accomplished by noon. Their toilets are scrubbed, floors clean, laundry done, grocery shopping complete, kids have eaten breakfast and lunch, and dinner’s in the crockpot. Good thing they’re my friends otherwise I’d hate them.
I’ve a colleague who schedules blocks of time in her daily calendar for writing, playing with her children, running errands and planning meals. Scheduling time to play with your kids? “I’m sorry Buffy, but Mummy doesn’t have you penciled in until two o’clock. Run along now.”
I suppose I’d be content to find a happy medium somewhere between Slacker and Superwoman. A place where there’s always clean underwear in the kids’ drawers but not necessarily their favorite pair. Where my feet don’t reflect in the sheen of a mopped kitchen floor but they don’t stick to it either. Where there’s food in the pantry but no dinner plans. When there aren’t enough hours in the day for my To Do list, but always enough time to receive a hug from my child. And just as important, when I can go to sleep and wake guilt-free knowing I’m doing the best I can. Yep, that’s the happy medium I’m going to aim for.
After I take a nap.