Why do I do this? All I have to do is scroll down to the bottom of the message and click, "Unsubscribe". Maybe it's because the HGTV How To emails give me something to read other than, "Your phone bill is ready to view on line. Please pay promptly." Or maybe I think within one of these perky threads I'll find the one nugget of truth to enlighten my entire world. I'd settle for one of them telling me what to do about the two dogs currently sitting on my office couch eating sticks previously destined to be fireplace kindling.
"Create a theme to keep you focused and less stressed. It's quicker and easier to pull together a room if you have a theme such as snowflakes, a color or atmosphere, like rustic or modern."
My decorating theme will be what it's been for the last 20 years: Early Matrimonial. 96.7% of the furnishings in our home, including our Christmas decorations, are hand me downs and discards from our respective families. A full 3% of holiday décor is courtesy of highly energetic and patient elementary school teachers who spent countless hours guiding our children in the fine art of creating priceless Christmas ornaments. Should we become housebound this winter from some freak ice storm, we won't starve. There's enough macaroni and gingerbread on our tree to last a week.
"Pull out your calendar and pick a decorating day. Put on festive music, light some holiday scented candles and actually enjoy the process. You will be happier with the one day than trying to do a little at a time." Right. This sounds good in theory. Just like I think I'll get my house cleaned all in one day. Laundry done all in one day. A week's worth of weight loss, errands, meals and ironing all done in one day.
"Swap a few framed pictures with scenic holiday cards. Hang them with sparkly wire for a festive touch." That would require me to pick up said framed cards, which would lead to dusting them. Ew.
"Next, add energy to the family room by facing the sofa in front of the Christmas tree instead of the television." Energy?? Between my dogs, teenagers and a revolving door of extra teenagers…I should want more Energy in my family room?
"In place of a traditional table runner, center a holiday placemat on the table with vases of varying heights. Fill them with leftover ornaments that tie into your color scheme and theme." What if I don't own a table runner to replace? "For a rustic look, use berry twigs to fill the perimeter and middle of the vase, then fill it to the top with pinecones." Finally! Something I can handle — sticks and pinecones. If I can just keep the dogs from eating them….
