If You Pray It, His Will Be Done
Sound like a fairytale? Most Catholics dream of one day meeting the Pope. Assuming you’re not a bishop, a head of state, or being investigated by the Inquisition, getting married is the best way to obtain a personal audience with the Pope. Newlyweds attending the Wednesday papal audience within six months of their wedding date not only get to see the Pope, but sit upfront in special seats and are blessed in person by the Holy Father.
Before getting married, my husband and I briefly discussed going to Rome on our honeymoon to receive a papal blessing. At that time, however, the only thing we knew about meeting the Pope is what we’d gleaned from looking at the photos of happy newlyweds hanging near the entrance of our favorite Italian restaurant.
More pointed inquires into how to attain a papal marital blessing proved virtually fruitless. Nearly overwhelmed with the intricacies of planning a wedding, we reluctantly decided to postpone our hoped-for rendezvous with John Paul II. After a most holy and beautiful marriage ceremony, not to mention an amazing honeymoon, we settled into married life having all but abandoned the idea of going to Rome. Reality—things like rent, student loans, the possibility of getting pregnant — soon made it obvious to everyone except my husband that we had no business financing a trans-Atlantic pilgrimage.
Step One: Pray
Even if, like us, you have no money and no idea how to go about obtaining a papal blessing, don’t despair. God is in charge and can provide beyond your wildest dreams. At first, our prayers regarding the trip were very tentative. We wanted to believe God would grant our desires, but wondered how we would negotiate the financial aspects of the trip as well as certain other minor obstacles, such as not having any time off from work, needing to write hundreds of thank-you cards, unpack and cook three square meals a day.
Once my husband began praying a novena to St. Joseph (you know, the one that “never fails”), I realized he was serious about going to Rome. United in prayer, we lifted up this petition to the Lord. And, just in case, I applied to have my name changed on my passport. After weeks of searching, we were unable to find airline tickets within our budget. Also, the postal service lost my passport in the chaos that ensued after their Brentwood facility in Washington, D.C. was closed due to anthrax contamination.
Confronted with these setbacks, we knew either God was testing our resolve, or He really didn’t want us to go to Rome. We prayed fervently for discernment of the Lord’s Will and waited patiently. God’s generosity knows no bounds. Not only were we able to go to Rome, we flew there for free. As a result of flight delays and added security measures, my husband’s mother and grandmother were awarded vouchers worth almost exactly the amount we needed to cover our flight. In no mood to fly any time soon, mom and grandma gladly signed over their vouchers to us. (As if that weren’t enough, we were given additional vouchers on our return trip from Italy.) And, just days before we left, I finally received my passport.
By now, we’d learned a thing or two about papal audiences thanks to “a friend of a friend” (coincidentally named Joseph) living in Rome. Joseph made reservations for us at the Padri Trinitari pensione, a simple, inexpensive hotel a few steps away from St. Peter’s (make sure to ask for a double bed). A chance meeting with another couple who’d attended a papal audience as newlyweds provided us with further crucial details. We’ve since discovered not everyone is so lucky. Some couples have journeyed all the way to the Vatican only to be turned away at the door for wearing inappropriate attire. On our return flight, we met a stewardess whose parish priest quashed her quest for a papal marital blessing by exclaiming he had never heard of such a thing.
Well, take heart. Prayer is the key to opening the doors of St. Peter’s, but the following guidelines will also increase the chances of your dream of personally meeting the Pope come true.
Step Two: Ask for the White Tickets
Tickets to the Wednesday papal audiences are available at the North American College in Rome. The college can be contacted at the following address:
Bishop’s Office for United States Visitors to the Vatican
North American College – Casa Santa Maria
Via dell’Umiltà, 30 00187 Rome, Italy
phone: 011-39-06-690-011
fax: 011-39-06-679-1448
e-mail:nacvisoffrome.csm@citiesonline.it
We recommend you ask for Sister Gilmary, who can give you specific details (in English) regarding papal blessings, such as the dates the Pope will be holding Wednesday audiences. The blue tickets are for general admittance. Newlyweds ask instead for the white tickets. The tickets are free and marked “Sposi Novelli” on the bottom. Explain you’ve been married within the last six months, and you’d like a seat in the section especially reserved for newlyweds. You must then fax or mail your request along with a copy of your Catholic marriage certificate. Once in Rome, you can pick up your tickets between 5:00 and 6:00 p.m. on the Tuesday immediately preceding your Wednesday audience. The office is located a block away from the Trevi Fountain. If you have trouble reaching the North American College, you can also obtain tickets by calling the Church of Santa Susanna, 011-39-06-4201-4554; by e-mail at tickets4thepope@yahoo.com. Or, contact the Vatican directly and ask for the “Prefettura della Casa Pontifica.” The telephone number is 011-39-06-6988-3017.
Step Three: Evading the Swiss Guard
You probably figured your wedding day would be the only time you’d ever wear your wedding dress. One of the best things about visiting the Pope as newlyweds is dressing up again in your wedding finery. We fondly remember our early morning stroll to the Vatican. Dressed as bride and groom, policemen saluted us, traffic stopped and schoolgirls stared in awe as they sweetly serenaded us with “Bella, bella.” Once we arrived at the Vatican, even the Swiss guards were impressed by our appearance. Vatican security reportedly has the final word as to whether or not your dress is appropriate. In short, you have to look as if it’s your wedding day. Any old gown or suit won’t do. Traditional wedding attire is highly recommended. For most, this means a white, formal wedding dress and a black suit and tie. Exceptions are made for cultural variations. For example, several Indian women in attendance wore colorful saris.
Brides: Cover your shoulders, and if possible, your arms with either sleeves or a shawl. Needless to say, your dress must come below your knees. We hear the Pope also appreciates brides who wear a veil and gloves.
Grooms: Wear a tux or a dark suit. Black is preferable, paired with a bowtie is even better. A red or white rose pinned to your lapel will do wonders for your appearance. Such flowers can be easily purchased from one of Rome’s many outdoor flower markets.
Step Four: Appeal to Your Guardian Angel
Reserved seating for newlyweds is in the front, facing the Pope on the right-hand side. In the spring and summer, audiences are usually held in St. Peter’s Square; when the weather turns cool, pilgrims gather in the Paul VI auditorium. Sister Gilmary warned us, though, getting just the right seat can be tricky. Arriving early does not guarantee a front-row seat because Vatican security sometimes seats couples from front to back and at other times from back to front. We decided it was still best to arrive early; and, for good measure, my husband called upon his guardian angel to save us seats in either the first or second row. After clearing security, we were escorted to prime seats in the second row. Regardless of where you’re sitting, the view of the Pope can’t get much better.
Step Five: Giving Your Marriage to Jesus
The audience begins at 10:00 a.m., but we recommend getting there early so you’ll have plenty of time to pray. The Pope’s blessing applies to the intentions of your heart. For your marriage to benefit fully from the papal benediction, you must actually pray for and be open to the countless graces the blessing can bestow. We will always fondly remember the special petitions we lifted up to Jesus during the hour or so we spent in joyful expectation of John Paul II’s arrival. Praying also helps the time pass more quickly.
John Paul II usually begins his audiences with a brief prayer and a Scriptural meditation and exegesis. Then the Pope addresses, usually in their native language, the various pilgrims who have traveled from around the world to see him. When the Pope greets your country, don’t be afraid to yell out, sing, or enthusiastically express your love for him and the Church. Though you are allowed to bring cameras and video recorders into the audience, we recommend you don’t overdo it. Instead of worrying about capturing the moment on film, take full advantage of this once in a lifetime event by uniting your hearts in prayer with the Holy Father. Anyway, your pictures won’t hold a candle to the ones you can buy directly from the Vatican’s photography service.
The audience concludes with John Paul II leading everyone in the Our Father. He then blesses and dismisses the crowd. The blessing also applies to any religious articles you may be carrying. We took full advantage of this added bonus by filling my wedding purse with as many rosaries, crucifixes and medals as possible.
Following the general audience, the Pope personally greets and blesses each of the newlywed couples. An usher will guide you to the foot of the Pope’s chair, ask you where you’re from and present you to the Holy Father. The ushers request you don’t kneel; instead, bow and kiss the Pope’s ring. If you brought a gift, this is the time to give it. You’ll have anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes to listen to and speak with the Vicar of Christ. The entire ceremony takes about three hours. We should mention, however, rare occasions do arise when the Pope’s health or schedule may oblige him to leave immediately after the general audience.
Step Six: Walking on Air
As we floated out of the Paul VI auditorium, we were virtually numb with joy. The warm welcome we received once in St. Peter's Square intensified our happiness. Hundreds of pilgrims, many of whom assumed we had just been married in the basilica, congratulated us with applause and cheering. As the guests-of-honor at what seemed to be one of the longest receiving lines in the world, we literally shook hundreds of hands and posed for dozens of pictures.
In spite of the crowd, we slowly made our way across the piazza to the Prefettura della Casa Pontifica, which is located to the right of the colonnade of St. Peter's Square. At this office, John Paul II has left wedding gifts for you and the other couples he has blessed. While there, you can ask if the Pope will be holding any other audiences, or celebrating a public Mass. Also, don't forget on Sundays at noon you'll be able to pray the Angelus with the Holy Father, who blesses the crowd from his library window.
Upon picking up our gifts, not to mention tickets for a canonization Mass, we headed for St. Peter's Basilica. After taking and posing for more pictures, we concluded this perfect day by pausing in the Eucharistic chapel to thank the Lord Jesus for all His generosity.
Step Seven: Carrying the Blessing with You
At the audience, you'll be handed business cards with the names and addresses of photographers who'll take close-ups of you as you meet the Pope. L'Osservatore Romano is the Vatican's official photography service. Though we shopped around, we found their prices and photos to be the best. The pictures should be ready for viewing by Wednesday evening. Swiss guards will direct you to the correct office, which is located in Vatican City on Via del Pellegrino. The photos are relatively inexpensive, with prices starting at about two dollars. Next door, you can buy a videotape of the audience from Centro Televisivo Vaticano (C.T.V.) for fifty dollars. On the same street, at the Elemosineria Apostolica, you can also order a colorful parchment commemorating your Apostolic blessing. Though there isn't a specific certificate for couples whose marriages are blessed by the Pope, you can ask the calligraphist to include your names, the date of your audience and the Pope's “prayers for the happiness of your Christian life together” in the parchment's inscription.
Of course, the purpose of such mementos is not (only) to impress your friends, but to inspire you to more fully embrace your marital vows. Just as a wedding doesn't make a marriage, a papal benediction doesn't automatically guarantee you'll live happily ever after. My husband and I have experienced many graces as a result of our pilgrimage, but these blessings have most often appeared as challenges calling us to purify our love for one another. Marriage is an image of Christ's unfailing love for the Church. In turn, married couples are called to imitate Christ in both the sorrows and joys life inevitably brings. The price of true love is the constant practice of patience, humility and self-denial — virtues nearly impossible to acquire apart from a sacramental life. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit the benediction imparts thus requires daily prayer, obedience and cooperation with God's grace.
Pope Pius XII, who first popularized the practice of papal marital blessings, instructed newlyweds on how to obtain the maximum benefit from the benediction he was about to impart upon them:
Jesus Christ has blessed and consecrated your marriages too, dear husbands and wives, and this blessing which you have received before the holy altar you wish confirmed and ratified, as it were, at the foot of His Vicar on earth; therefore you have come to him. We impart this benediction with all our heart in the hope that it remain always with you and that it accompany you everywhere in the course of your life. It will remain with you if within the walls of your homes you will let Jesus Christ reign, His doctrine, His example, His precepts, His spirit; if Mary Most Holy — invoked, venerated and loved by you — is the queen, the advocate and the mother of the new family you are called upon to found; and if under the loving gaze of Jesus and Mary you live as Christian couples worthy of so great a name and so great a calling.
. . . Oh, and, by the way, what did we say to the Pope? Well, we advise you just listen. But in case you're wondering, “Thank you, we love you, Totus Tuus.”
A version of this article appeared in Catholic Digest, June 2002 and is reprinted here with permission. Copyright 2002 Catholic Digest.
