I’ll tell you what a senior moment is. It’s standing at the refrigerator filling up a glass at the water dispenser — and forgetting what it was I came in the kitchen to do. Yes, seriously, that was me the other night. I’m standing there, gazing around the room trying to puzzle out what it was that I came into the kitchen to do and then caught myself in time before the glass overflowed. How can a person forget what they are doing while they are doing it!?! The kids are sucking the life from me, I swear.
I told them all to give me hugs and love before I forget who they are. I don’t know if I should be worried. They looked alarmed like I’d spoken out loud what everybody has already been thinking.
Good grief, I’m only thirty-six. Is this the beginning of my senior years? Already?
Is that why I’m ready for bed right after dinner and then I’m up at the crack of dawn? Is this why I keep trying to make the kids take a nap, so I can, too? “But, Mom, I’m in MIDDLE SCHOOL.”
And yet I have to wait another fourteen years before I qualify for A.A.R.P.
I could be a long lost missing person by then. I can just see it. One day I go to the grocery store, by myself, and then next thing I know I’m in Indiana. (And I live in California… I think.)
So I am taking some precautions to stave off the onset of my senior years, or to at least fake it so nobody else knows my state of mind.
#1 I’m taking at least one kid with me no matter where I go. That way I have somebody to remind me what I came for and tell me how to get back home.One night I went for a walk and I was SURE this car was following me; the driver flashed his lights at me. I tried not to panic and I stepped up my pace. By the time I broke into a full run, the car had caught up to me, and my husband yelled out: “What do you think you’re doing?! Get in the car or we'll be late to dinner!”#2 I’m learning to nod and smile when people speak to me (my hearing is going, too). But mostly, once I get three sentences into a conversation with another adult, I can’t remember what we were talking about in the first place.
#3 I’m taking ginkgo-balboa, a herb that increases memory, just as soon as I remember where I put the bottle.
#5 I’m taking a proactive stance and I’ve made up business cards that say: I’m lost. Please call my husband at ###-####…but I lost them, too.
#6 I’m getting the OnStar system installed in my van. Maybe THEY'LL know who I am and where I live.
#7 I started taping notes all over the house so I remember really important things, like picking up my husband at work when I have the car for the day.
That’s another thing. My husband and I have been having these arguments over silly things. He asks me where such and such is and I walk out of the room. He finds me and I’m standing there staring blankly at the wall.
“Why did you walk out on me like that?”
“Didn’t you ask for such and such?”
“I did. Is it in this room?”
“Is what in this room?” (See? Three sentences in…)
“The such and such!”
“We have one of those? Where is it?”
“That’s what I asked you!”
It’s really annoying. Maybe I should ask my doctor is this is a side effect from one of the medications I take. I’m sure he can be of help — What was I talking about?
(Jelly Mom is written by Lisa Barker, a busy mom of five, and syndicated through Martin-Ola Press/Parent-to-Parent. To read more, visit www.JellyMom.com.)
