About a year ago I was invited to give a talk on “fostering a pro-life spirituality in the family.” I was excited and honored to give such a talk, so I eagerly sat down and began listing some of the things our family does.
I noted our family's openness to life, our participation in pro-life activities and functions such as the “life chain,” our voting only for pro-life candidates, and our modest contributions to some of the many worthy pro-life apostolates.
But then I asked myself, is this really the essence of a pro-life spirituality?
Pope John Paul II noted that the Gospel of Life at root is not an agenda or body of teachings or a program for political or societal change. It's all about proclaiming the very person of Jesus Christ, who shows us the true value and purpose of our lives and of all human life.
So, when we talk about a pro-life spirituality within the family, we're not talking about something distinct from our own Christian discipleship. “Pro-life” isn't an optional feature of our personal and familial spirituality. It's already there, even if we don't always realize it.
We have to make a decision as Catholic parents to put Christ at the center of our family, beginning with putting Him at the center of our own lives. That is the foundation for building pro-life families. With Christ at the center of our families, the seed of faith that our children receive at Baptism has favorable conditions for coming to fruition. Nothing is automatic, of course, and our children retain their freedom as they reach maturity to accept or reject the precious gift of faith.
Given that the faith is as much “caught” as it is “taught” within the family, how do families become healthy seedbeds or “seminaries” where the Gospel of Life can flourish? I think the three essential ingredients are faith, prayer (i.e., Christian hope in action), and charity. I think most of us have encountered “3-D” movies where we had to wear special glasses to see the movie the way it was intended to be seen. We miss important aspects of the movie if we try to watch it without the special glasses. Similarly, that's why I'm so sensitive to my son Samuel grabbing my bifocals. I know how dependent I am on my glasses to clearly see the physical reality around me.
When it comes to our faith, our families need to “think like Catholics.” This involves knowing our faith, but it also involves seeing reality as Christ sees it. I'd suggest that we need to continually develop an authentically Catholic worldview and vision which coherently brings together all the Church's teachings. So instead of a “3-D” lens or a secular lens, we need an authentically Catholic lens.
We can know something of the Gospel of Life through reason alone, because the natural law is written on the human heart. Yet, we know that because of original sin our vision is blurry and limited. Faith, then, isn't “Catholic spin,” but a corrective lens that compensates for the effects of original sin, until that day when we see face to face (cf. 1 Cor 13:12).
Faith involves accepting — without seeing — the Lordship of Jesus Christ. It involves the ability and willingness to be formed and nurtured by the Church, enabling us to break out of our self-centeredness. What father doesn't rejoice when he sees his children consider the “big picture” — how their actions affect their own and others' salvation?
“The family that prays together stays together.” Sometimes I think we understand this maxim in an exclusively negative light, that family prayer is important because it helps us avoid the negative of family disunity. But there's a positive dimension as well. Families that pray together are spiritual powerhouses. They provide a much-needed leaven in the world today, helping to build what the pope called a civilization of life and love. Praying families are the greenhouses where the “new springtime of faith” will first begin to blossom.
Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God (Catechism, no. 2226). This means that we are to cultivate a familiarity with God that permeates our family's entire spiritual life, including personal prayer, devotions, and the liturgical life of the Church. While individual prayer and liturgical prayer are irreplaceable, so is praying together as a family.
Every household has its own daily rhythm. Some naturally good times for family prayer are the beginning and end of the day. Another good time is the family meal, though that presupposes that the family comes together for meals, unfortunately a less common occurrence in our “eat on the run” society. In my own home, family dinner is considered the highest priority after daily Mass, so even if I'm in the middle of a project at the CUF office, I drop everything to go home for dinner.
Holy Church gently urges families to take the time to pray the Rosary together. While the Rosary can spiritually satisfy saints, mystics, and even secular geniuses like Louis Pasteur, it's also simple enough to be prayed by a five-year-old. There are so many ways to get the little ones involved, from offering intentions to leading one of the mysteries. They also benefit from the wide array of Rosary picture books to help them “see” each mystery. That's not to say one of the mysteries won't be interrupted on occasion. But I tend to think that our Lord, who said, “Let the children come to me” (Mt 19:14), hears with special solicitude the at times chaotic prayers of families with small children. When we say we're “pro-life,” we don't mean that we're simply “pro- our own life.” Rather, our Lord tells us, “He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (Jn 12:25). In imitation of Jesus Christ, our pro-life commitment impels us to lay down our lives for others. This gift of self is the antidote for selfishness and is the basis of the great commandments to love God and our neighbor, beginning — but by no means ending — in the home.
A love-giving family is a life-giving family, as love gives life, love honors life, love celebrates life. A life-giving family is generous, which literally means “full of giving life.” A life-giving family is connected to the source of all life — God Himself, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, drawing abundant life from the sacraments, the wellsprings of divine grace. A life-giving family, in imitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary, hears the Word of God and keeps it. A life-giving family is welcoming and goes out of itself in helping those in need. A life-giving family puts its finances, energies, and gifts at the service of the Church. A life-giving family embraces Humanae Vitae, welcoming the gift of children and certainly not killing them through abortion or abortion-producing contraceptives. A life-giving family affirms the dignity and value of every family member and helps them on the road to heaven.
Isn't that the essence of a pro-life spirituality for families?
Leon J. Suprenant, Jr. is the president of Catholics United for the Faith (CUF) and Emmaus Road Publishing and the editor-in-chief of Lay Witness magazine, all based in Steubenville, Ohio. He is a contributor to Catholic for a Reason III: Scripture and the Mystery of the Mass and an adviser to CE’s Catholic Scripture Study. His email address is leon@cuf.org.
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