If we seek to learn more about the mother of Jesus, then perhaps the place to begin is by taking a closer look at the family from which she came. Unfortunately, we have almost no information about the parents of our Blessed Mother Mary. In fact, any “historical” information we have comes from a non-canonical ancient text—meaning that it has not been classified as the divinely inspired word of God—and so the most we can say is that the history it offers us could be true. But on the other hand, it is possible that it is not. Therefore, any information we have about Mary’s parents (whose names we refer to as “Joachim” and “Anne”) is essentially relegated to tradition and legend, and not historical evidence.
Still, as we know, just because something is part of oral tradition passed down through the generations does not mean that the ancient stories were “made up.” It simply means that we cannot verify with certainty whether the events described transpired in precisely the way that they were recorded.
For example, we do not know with certainty whether they suffered years of infertility before her birth or whether they dedicated Mary to live at the temple when she was three years old, as tradition would have us believe. We do not even know with certainty whether “Joachim” and “Anne” were the actual names of Mary’s parents! Still, even though nothing has been passed down to us scripturally about the grandparents of Jesus, there are a few things we can note definitively about them, and other things which we can reasonably assume.
The first thing we can say with certainty about Mary’s parents is rather obvious: simply that Mary indeed had parents. She was conceived without original sin, but not by an overshadowing of the Holy Spirit as Jesus was. No, Mary had a mother and a father who entered the marital embrace in order for their child to come into existence.
The second thing we know with certainty about Mary’s parents is that their daughter turned out to be the holiest woman that ever was and ever will be. Not a single soul on the planet could ever “outdo” Mary in virtue, which, according to St. Louis de Montfort, included: “deep humility, lively faith, blind obedience, unceasing prayer, constant self-denial, surpassing purity, ardent love, heroic patience, angelic kindness, and heavenly wisdom.”
Now, it is possible that Mary could have turned out equally as perfect if she were to have come from an abusive home with an angry father and a negligent mother, but it is hard to imagine that God would have willed the mother of His Son to be raised in a home that would not best prepare her for the formidable responsibility that would be in her future. The most likely scenario is that the Father would have willed Mary to be raised in a household full of peace, one filled with holy silence, so that she could enter the temple of her heart in unceasing, contemplative pondering and prayer. It’s not that one cannot learn to enter such intimacy with the Lord as an adult later in life despite a rocky childhood—but there was not time for Mary to learn such prayerful intimacy “later.”
According to tradition, Mary was betrothed to Joseph at the age of twelve. Her childhood would have been the only time she would have had to learn the lesson of contemplative silence. From the time of Jesus’ birth, Mary would live the rest of her days with unsurpassed joy, but at the same time, a “sword” would “pierce” her heart (Lk. 2:35). With so little time to prepare and so great a sacrifice asked of her, it is certain that God would have created a happy and holy childhood home for Mary, just as He did for Jesus in preparation for His own mission.
I have a cherished photograph of my grandmother sitting in her rocker, with a Bible and a rosary in hand. I am sure there is a picture of my mother somewhere in a similar pose at the same age, and I am confident (and hopeful!) that my children or future grandchildren will take one of me just like it one day. It is amazing because even though at the time the snapshot was taken I had no interest whatsoever in joining my grandmother for a rosary or for Bible study, both are now my favorite pastimes! I have received the same love for the Faith as was hers, because it was passed down. Of course, without the grace of God, I would still be opting out of rosaries and Scripture, but without the example of my grandmother and mother (not to mention their intercessory prayers), I might very well still prefer the things of this world to the things of the next. I didn’t only get zapped with a dose of grace from heaven above; I also had to learn the steps that it would take to prepare my heart to receive it. And even Jesus Himself, though fully divine, had to do the same, because He was also fully human:
Son though he was, he LEARNED obedience from what he suffered. (Heb. 5:8)
The truth is, it is our human nature to imitate the example which we are repeatedly exposed to—especially as children—which is precisely why, as parents, we sometimes cringe when we hear ourselves pronounce the same expressions as our parents (the ones we swore we wouldn’t never say), but also smile as we joyfully sing the same childhood lullabies to our babies that brought us comfort when we were children ourselves. We share with our own children the “wisdom” which was passed down to us by our parents (for better or for worse!), wisdom which had been, in turn, passed down to them by their own.
This is how we know that Joachim and Anne (whose given names, in Hebrew, respectively mean “established by God” and “grace”) were indeed good parents. Mary would have received the grace from God to avoid all sin, but she would have learned how to place herself in a disposition to correspond with this grace from her parents.
God did not force Mary to remain sinless. She had to make the free-will choice to consent. And thanks to Joachim and Anne, whom we can easily imagine supporting her, encouraging her, counseling her, and teaching her by their example, Mary learned to recognize the hand of God ever working in her life, and she learned to discern His voice and His will, leading her to pass on this same parental guidance to her Son.
St. Anne and St. Joachim, patron saints of parents, pray for us.
Author’s Note: This article was adapted from a chapter in 26 Steps With the Mother of God: A Treatise on the Life of Mary, available from Amazon.
Image from Wikimedia Commons
