Purity is Never Alone

While studying theatre at Arizona State University, I arrived for class on the first day to find that we were going to play an “icebreaker” to help everyone get a little more acquainted with each other.



The teacher, a man in his early thirties wearing a t-shirt and designer jeans, explained that to play, one person simply needed to say out loud, “come over here if ___” and fill in whatever he wanted to be a topic of conversation. Everyone who agreed with the comment would walk over to that person and stand close to them while everyone who disagreed would be left scattered around the room. The point of the game being that we would physically see the common ground we shared with others, and the differences and diversity found among us.

The game began. First a student asked us to “come over” by him if we liked baseball; everyone who concurred moved to surround him, this Diamondbacks fan included, while the rest of the class stayed where they were and waited for another proposition. The game continued in such a fashion for a few minutes. Questions arose about sports, “Coke or Pepsi,” our liking for celebrities, and hobbies we were into. After a pause the teacher challenged us to go deeper into our personal lives.

One courageous girl asked the class if we had lost anyone to cancer. Those who had moved toward her, and I was impressed by her honesty and vulnerability. We progressively got deeper. Statements were made about abortion, religion, and politics. Then an older man said, “Come over here if you are not a virgin.” I saw what appeared to be the majority of the class move to flank him. I turned to see who was left behind me only to find that there wasn’t anyone else. I quickly realized with embarrassment, as blood rushed to my face, that the entire class was standing in a group on one side and staring at me on the other — completely alone.

Experiences like this make me acutely aware of how alone a person can feel when trying to live a life of purity and chastity. In our modern culture, which bombards us with sexual imagery and innuendo seemingly everywhere we look, one can wonder just how we are to be chaste in a world that seems to have lost a place for it. When we as the faithful fight to be pure and engage in what John Paul II referred to as “a heroic and demanding struggle,” we can be rewarded with our efforts by being mocked or left feeling alone by a world that has passed us by. What are we as Catholics to do?

Chastity is not easy. Our Lord never told us that it would be easy. He only told us that it would be worth it. Sure there will be times when our strength will be tested as we are tempted to give in to those who are pressuring us. But maybe, just maybe, the world that is rushing from one thing to the next in sexual exploration and exploitation is looking for what is found in chastity: a life dedicated to God, a life in which one finds inner peace and the conviction that there is so much more to our existence than simply using others and being used in return.

I for one strive to find that “hidden” place of life, to find that place where the pure of heart are promised that they will see God. It was a struggle to finally commit to chastity in my own life and the road ahead will not be without trials. But the reward has been great and I hunger for more.

The truth is that young people across our country are standing up for purity and chastity and being a beacon of light for those who are still searching. Their example and witness is a testament that God alone can fulfill our hearts' desires, and it encourages me in my own walk. After all, I can appreciate not having to stand alone.

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