When you’re a teen in this town, it’s seldom fashionable to be Catholic — but it’s especially not fashionable on prom night. Well, you say, that’s a no-brainer.
Escaping from the trendy, skimpy prom dresses (which often result in the stereotypical night girls lose their virginity) to avoiding the overzealous, hormone-raging cat fights which ensue once one date looks at another in an inappropriate way (whatever that is!) — our kids have one tough time!
And it’s not a walk in the park for us parents, either. We have the not-so-easy task of finding a gown for our child, one that doesn’t reveal half the back or bosoms and hopefully when that is agreed upon, it doesn’t end up draining our wallet. The whole shopping experience certainly rattles a few nerves not to mention adding a few gray hairs! And I haven’t even touched on the hairstyles, nails, jewelry and other accessories “necessary” for the evening.
Yes, it is a roller-coaster ride of emotions, enveloping the whole family, while the prom-goer awaits the right someone to ask her to accompany her on this special evening. But the hardest thing for this mom was trying to explain why other Catholic teens were ridiculing my daughter for going to Mass before attending prom.
Our village’s high school prom is traditionally the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. And what prom-going teen, returning home at 5AM — after the supervised prom party of pizza and games — wants to rise for Mass just a few hours later? Not many! And especially not my “I love to sleep” daughter. So, knowing the importance of her Sunday obligation, she planned to attend 5PM anticipated Saturday Mass with her hair and make-up already completed.
Yet, she found out only an hour before Mass (via instant messenger — is there any other means of communication for teens?), that her group of friends had decided just that afternoon, to skip Mass and move up the evening’s events. They planned to take photos and leave for prom while my daughter was still at Mass.
When she called them, voices mocked her in the background: “Why does she have to go to Mass this weekend? It’s her prom! Can’t she skip Mass for one weekend?” This came from fellow Catholics who are active in the Church.
A flood of tears sprang from her face of make-up. I tried to console her. How could they change their plans without talking with her and act so mean about it? Then I saw the horrified look in her eyes the moment she voiced her realization “Mom, you will have to drop me off at prom because my ‘friends’ will already be there!” Yikes, I thought. Does it get any worse?
The phone rang as she was patting her make-up. Coming to her rescue was a friend whose date had ditched her. At least she would not have to walk in alone. They could arrive with each other. We devised a plan to drop the girls off at a nearby store, so they could walk into the restaurant without attendees knowing how they arrived.
Crisis averted and never once did my daughter even think about not attending Mass. I am so proud of her — who by the way, was the only teen at Mass who was later attending the prom! I applaud all those prom-going teens who have the maturity to fulfill their Sunday obligation despite the secular world’s pull towards laziness and complacency.
It’s not easy to raise Catholic kids in a secular world, but I feel it’s even harder for our kids to stand up for their Catholic faith. Scripture tells us “Your reward will be great in heaven.” Tonight, my reward was seeing my daughter do what is right. God loves you, Amanda and so does your mom!
© Copyright 2005 Catholic Exchange
Colleen Miner, wife and mother of three daughters, lives in Saranac Lake, New York. She is a reporter/photographer for the Diocese of Ogdensburg and active in pro-life and youth ministry.
