(This article courtesy of the Arlington Catholic Herald.)
The first and most important lesson is that advent is a time of preparation. It’s not Christmas. Last year, I knew that a constant buzz of parties and programs would exhaust me. I was determined to be rested and well when I welcomed my baby. This year, it is the infant Jesus I will welcome but the principle remains. We have to pace ourselves and we have to take care of ourselves. Set limits; say “no.” Sacrifice some of the good in order to be and do the very best.
Mothers have a tendency to exhaust themselves during the first weeks of December. Often, they don’t fully appreciate the blessings of Christmas because they have driven themselves so hard to “create” magic for everyone around them. We aren’t magicians and Christmas isn’t magic. It is a beautiful, spiritual feast that requires as much contemplation as action to prepare. You take care of yourself when you make time every day to pray, to exercise, to eat right and to sleep well. Promise yourself that you will do those things. Take time to do them in order to be the best you can for your family.
Next, get organized. Make a list of all the things you typically do to prepare for Christmas. Share the list with your family. What is important? What is special? What could you delete that nobody would miss? Don’t skip this step. The fruits of the conversation might surprise you. With the list complete, set out, with discipline and resolve, to accomplish what is really important.
Last year, I knew that the shopping had to be finished well in advance of Christmas or there was some chance that I would deliver early and my husband would be left scrambling in malls while I was home with a newborn. My goal was to complete the shopping before Thanksgiving. It’s not too late this year to complete it before the first Sunday of Advent. Start with a list, carefully planned and prioritized. Then, get the job done in any manner that works — online, by catalog, at the mall, at the craft store. Just stick to the list; stick to the budget; and remember that the gift gathering and giving is only one aspect of the celebration. With the shopping finished, the burden of buying won’t occupy mental space. You will know that the “things” are taken care of and you will be liberated.
As soon as you purchase an item, wrap and label it. Wrapping doesn’t have to be a big, time-consuming task. It can be several small, easily managed sessions. You might even find you enjoy pretty boxes, all wrapped up and offering you a sense of completion.
When I was 12, my friend Denise taught me that you never put all the new Christmas treasures into a messy old room. She would thoroughly clean her room before putting away the first gift. Now, she has a big house to clean and four little children to attempt to thwart the plan, but the principle holds. Last year, a major nesting urged made this process speed along for me. It was a good thing too, because the week before Christmas and just days before our new baby arrived, everyone had a violent stomach bug. I could not have handled that with any grace at all if my house had been a wreck.
During the first week of Advent clean, clean, clean. Before you decorate, clear out the clutter. As the Advent hymn reminds us, “Make the house fair as you are able.” Involve the whole family. Once the clutter is gone, you will think twice before buying more clutter to give as gifts. You will also be inspired to decorate the house to welcome friends, family and the holy Infant.
Because my husband is usually traveling on the weekends during Advent, we decorate on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Advent purists will argue against this, but in our house, this is the practical time to decorate. Almost everyone I know has a story to tell about Dad struggling with and cursing at the Christmas tree. I’d rather get this out of the way early and enjoy that tree for several weeks.
In our house, baking is not an optional activity. My husband and my children assure me that it wouldn’t be Christmas without it. I was a bit overwhelmed by the thought of baking last year. I had typically baked in one or two days. They were great big, busy, messy tiring days. Since I was determined to take good care of myself, that plan wouldn’t work. Instead, I made a list of all the cookies we’d like to bake and bought all the ingredients necessary for everything at once. I baked one variety a day, only on days when I had the time and energy to do it peacefully. The children understood the strategy and we were all amazed when the freezer was stocked with all our favorites well before Nicholas’ arrival on Dec. 21.
Over the next few weeks, I plan to suggest many Advent activities for families to enjoy. Don’t try to do them all. Choose one or two and do them well. Offer them to our Lord as we wait with hope for His arrival. Most of all, do them peacefully and with joy.
