“You’re asking me to start a Catholic men’s group in my parish. Are you kidding?”
“I’m not a spiritual giant or a Scripture scholar. How could I lead or facilitate such a group?”
“Look, I believe we are living in difficult times for men, and I believe that Catholic men need to support one another and organized Catholic men's fellowship would be great. But I don’t have a clue on how to get started.”
These are typical responses to the question, “Why not ask your pastor if you can start a men's group in your parish?”
Well men, I have good news. Starting a men’s group in your parish is not rocket science, and does not require you to be a spiritual giant nor a Scripture scholar. Follow this three-step process for a no-hassle, easy way to start a men’s group in your parish.
Three-step Process
Step 1 – Contact your pastor and let him know you want to start a parish men’s group in your parish.
• Ask him if you could meet briefly to review a 9-minute Parish Men’s Group video. The Parish Men’s Group video is available from the National Fellowship of Catholic Men.
• Advise him that this is something worthwhile to the parish and not something that will add to his busy schedule. Plant the seed that parish men's fellowship increases participation in other areas of parish life and may even decrease his workload in the future.
• Ask him for his support and assure him that the men in the parish would run the men’s group ministry. Invite him to speak at the initial men’s meeting if he is available. Thank him for his time and his support.
Step 2 – Invite Catholic men in the parish to attend a meeting on starting a parish men’s group.
• Schedule the meeting for a convenient time and day. A Saturday morning or a weekday evening would draw the greatest participation. Provide refreshments and snacks.
• Advertise well. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Pulpit announcements
2. Sunday bulletin ad
3. Weekend Mass sign-up drive
4. Personal invitations mailed to all the Catholic men in the parish (Note: If you want to start small, you might consider personal invitations to a small group of men.)
Step 3 – Conduct the Initial meeting
• Show the Parish Men’s Group video. This video, which shows an actual men’s group in action and provides convicting testimonials by men, will provide inspiration to the men attending the meeting.
• Discuss the video with the men, and if possible, provide a guest speaker with a personal testimony of men's fellowship.
• Develop a means of polling the men to get a sense of their interests, e.g., being better husbands and fathers, living as a Catholic man in the world today, spiritual growth, building deeper relationships with other Catholic men, etc. You may consider creating a survey with questions or taking a hand poll.
• Provide copies of A Starter Kit for Catholic Men’s Groups to each attendee. This 20-page booklet answers most questions men may have about small, parish men’s groups. If you prefer, rather than handing out the booklet to everyone, discuss some of the questions asked in the booklet. This Starter Kit is also available from the National Fellowship of Catholic Men.
• Encourage them to look into the types of men's resources that are available on the Internet and through a variety of publications. Mention that the substance of such resources will form the discussion topics of future meetings.
Some suggestions
The National Fellowship of Catholic Men (NFCM) website
The Catholic Man Channel on Catholic Exchange
Signposts, How To Be a Catholic Man in the World Today
Brothers, Calling Catholic Men into Vital Relationships
• Schedule a follow-up meeting.
At your first follow-up meeting discuss any questions relating to the Starter Kit booklet or any other questions, create a simple mission statement and goals for your group and then set an agenda for where, when and how often you will meet in the future. Provide an initial men’s group resource, and you're off and running.
Other Points to Consider
• Each man who leads a Catholic Men’s group should read A Starter Kit for Catholic Men’s Group Facilitators. Also available is a DVD-Based Facilitator Training course.
• Each parish should consider forming a “core team” of men with leadership responsibility over the men’s group ministry, the agenda and planning and the overall support structure of the group.
Finally, an important point to make when talking with your pastor and other men in your parish is that small, parish-based Catholic men’s groups, such as the one being suggested here, are not alternatives to the many excellent Catholic organizations that bring men together such as the Knights of Columbus, Cursillo, and Holy Name Society.
Small, parish-based men's groups can collaborate with and support these organizations. Small, parish-based Catholic men’s groups help men in these organizations grow in their faith and spiritual life, pray together, and support one another. Thus, these groups could be a means of breathing new life into and expanding the apostolate of these fine organizations. Give it a try and start one today.
(Maurice Blumberg is Executive Director of the National Fellowship of Catholic Men. This article is a paid product of the NFCM, P.O. Box 86381, Gaithersberg, MD 20886. You may e-mail them at info@nrccm.org.)
