Kids Say the Darndest Things
Very likely, children today very soon learn to “smart-mouth” their elders, no doubt aping popular characters in the comics or TV shows.
Years ago Art Linkletter was host to a program called, “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” While the children were prepped to a certain degree, their remarks still evinced the innocence and ignorance of children at that less sophisticated time.
When Bill Cosby tried a reincarnation of the show, it was not nearly so successful. Whether that was due to the host's own interjections of adult humor, or the growing sophistication of the children, I don't know. But the show had nothing like the longevity of the earlier one.
I remember one episode in particular from Linkletter's show. Art asked a little boy how many there were in his family. It turns out that he was the youngest of ten.
“What's the worst thing about belonging to such a big family?” Art asked.
The answer came quickly: “When I get to take a shower, the water's always cold.”
“Oh, you like to take hot showers, do you?” asked the host.
“I don't know. I never had one.”
Does Anyone Know What a Leper Is?
I'm guilty of inspiring this one: My 5-year-old grandson was having supper at his other grandma's house. As they sat down to eat, Grandma asked, “What do we do first?” clearly expecting that they were to say grace.
“Grandma Farrell says, 'Life is short. Eat dessert first.'”
Mea culpa!
My first try at teaching a religious education class of second graders was pretty much a trial and error thing. When Thanksgiving came, I thought it would be fitting to tell the story of Jesus healing the ten lepers, only one of them coming back to thank him.
But at the first mention of the word “leper,” I sensed immediately that this word was not in their vocabulary. (This was about forty years ago.)
So I asked, “Does anyone know what a leper is?”
There was a long silence. Finally, one brave soul timidly raised his hand and said, “That's an animal like a tiger, but with spots on.”
Are You a Child of God?
But a dear old nun who had taught kindergarten for fifty-plus years told me this story, which is my all-time favorite. She said she always wanted to impress the children with how much God loved them. She would begin by telling each of them that he or she was a child of God, and God loved them very much.
To emphasize the point, she called each child by name and asked, “Are you a child of God?”
The answer invariably was, “Yes, Sister.”
Then she asked, “What about me? Am I a child of God?”
That was a stumper. The children looked at that dear old wrinkled face and gray hair, and shook their heads solemnly, if somewhat regretfully.
“Well, if I'm not a child of God, what am I?” asked Sister.
A long silence ensued. Everyone thought hard, and finally one little boy's face brightened up. He shook his hand eagerly, “Sister, Sister, I know!”
“Yes, dear?”
“You're Adam's woman!”
Frances Farrell is a contributing editor for Gilbert!, The Magazine of G.K. Chesterton.
(This article courtesy of Gilbert!, The Magazine of G.K. Chesterton.)
