Yes, you have every right to sputter and mutter about the red-and-green decorations fluttering down the “seasonal” aisle at the local discount store … and it’s Labor Day weekend.
But that was then. And this is now.
Ladies and gentlemen, pull out your charge cards.
This isn’t a diatribe against the commercialization of Christmas. Many businesses — both very large and very small — depend on this custom of gift giving to stay in business. And that’s fine.
Giving gifts is fine. Buying gifts for loved ones is fine. But…
As a full-time freelance writer, I’ve penned a few marketing ads. Some for magazines and newspapers. Some for — the proper phrase I’m always careful to use when discussing a project with a client — “third-class mailings.”
Junk mail.
As with any craft, copywriting has some basic rules. The equivalent of gravity. No, the writer doesn’t have to follow them, but if he fails to keep them in mind it’s more than likely his ad will fall flat on its face.
The rules aren’t secret. Countless books list them in any number of variations. Get the person’s attention, for example. Focus on that customer. Stress the benefits of the product or service and show how what you’re offering is different from — better than — what others are offering. And so on.
There’s nothing un-Christian or unethical about basic advertising. It’s simply putting one’s best foot forward while promoting what one has to offer. It lets the public know what’s available and it can lower, or even eliminate entirely, the cost of the medium delivering it.
A newspaper. A magazine. A radio station. A television channel. A website.
So “hurrah” for all ads?
No. Especially at this time of year, when some advertisements begin equating dollar amount with degree of love. That’s a formula for trouble. Or, from one marketing point of view, one that’s clever as can be.
“If you really love your spouse, you will get…”
“If you really care about your dear old parent, you have to…”
“If you treasure your child, you need to…”
Maybe not in words that are so blunt. But in ones that hammer home that message.
You an imperfect spouse, adult child, parent, have some catching up to do. This is your opportunity. Don’t blow that, too.
Then, gift giving shifts from “This is for you because I love you” to “This is for you because I have not loved you well enough.”
Here’s a news flash: None of us loves as well as we should.
All of us, at times, mess up in all our relationships. In big ways and in little ways.
Spending more money on a gift does not compensate. It does not fix.
And coupled with that — ho, ho, ho! — is gift-giving inflation. That creeping increase in the amount spent on an individual. Not an understandable “Well, five years ago item X cost $20 and now it sells for $25 and that’s the way the economy goes.”
No, this is “I used to spend $20 per person and now it’s $50. And I’m not sure how that happened. But if I go back to $20 then…”
Then, hey, where’s the love, man? And, what kind of cheapskate are you?
It can be a major negotiation getting everyone in the family gift exchange to lower the agreed-upon dollar amount and then if just one person violates the new treaty all bets are off for next Christmas.
“Yes, we said $30 but everyone spends $50.”
Is there something basically wrong with spending $50 as opposed to $30? Of course not. But, generally speaking, we don’t really need the gifts we receive. They are tokens of affection not necessities.
They may be very nice, and even very much wanted, but not needed.
And, as Catholics, that makes a difference.
“And Jesus will turn to those on his left and say, ‘For I was hungry and homeless and you — you bought a what? For how much?’” To paraphrase Matthew 25.
We aren’t called to be destitute but we are supposed to be poor in spirit. That means our lives aren’t about collecting nice things, no matter how nice those things are. Money, a tool, is to be used wisely. (It’s the love of money that’s evil, says 1 Timothy 6:10. Not the dough itself.)
That’s why, as Christmas approaches, we need to have not-so-great expectations about the gifts we will receive. We need to freely and frequently give others permission to spend less when shopping for us. We need to urge them to do this. To explain that a token will be lovely, but spending less will be truly appreciated.
And we need to set an example in our own shopping. To not equate “amount” with love. To not look for an item to sooth our conscience. To not succumb to gift-giving inflation. And if we are parents shopping for young kids, we need to set the limit, tell them the limit, and stick to the limit.
As Christmas approaches, we need to raise our standards. Not about the quality or quantity of the gifts we give. But the way we view this opportunity to say “I love you.” As Catholics, we know the best way to do that is less about presents and more about presence.
Actions speak louder than a disco-singing plastic bass mounted on a wooden plaque.
