Who invented those nasty things? Probably the same person who began the “Natural Childbirth” revolution. And does anyone really take New Year’s resolutions seriously any time of the year beyond, oh, January 27th?
Back in the dark ages, when I was an aerobics instructor (I still have Denise Austin nightmares.) I didn’t need a calendar or a champagne headache to know it was the first week of January. Every single gym member and their conscience showed up for class. There were only two other times a year when I’d see that many good intentions and sweat in one room: Easter and Christmas.
If you were a faithful Gym Rat, you knew to arrive early or forfeit your “regular” parking spot, claim mat, weights and spot in class. You griped about the Post Christmas and Preswimsuit Season Twice-A-Yearers messing up the routine — not quite knowing when to sit, stand or shut up.
And just like Easter and Christmas, there were all the new outfits. Leotards and bike shorts with elastic that still snapped back. T-shirts without blood and sweat stains on them. Athletic shoes still with tread on the bottom. Clean, white, matched socks. Water bottles with the original spring water in them, not a refill from the tap. Bottle labels weren’t bleached or worn off from the dishwasher either.
Like the pews in church come February, the rows of exercise mats would thin and the fights over the 3-pound dumbbells ceased. Pretty soon the year’s new faithful had their favorite spots in the room, knew all the steps and had the words to the songs memorized. All was peaceful until the onslaught of bathing suit weather.
My resolutions these days have less to do with exercise and more to do with swearing less in front of my children. I think I lost my interest in the whole fitness center/gym scene when I stopped getting paid to jump around and make people sweat.
Not that I don’t need the exercise … I really should call a local Bus Stop Mommy or two and pound the pavement in our neighborhood. Not only would we feel and look better, we’d never get behind on all the latest gossip.
Besides, I just got some new athletic shoes.
Karen Rinehart is a syndicated newspaper columnist, public speaker, and creator of The Bus Stop Mommies™. Her book, Invisible Underwear, Bus Stop Mommies and Other Things True To Life, is a popular read in book clubs, school pick up lines, and soccer fields. She enjoys hearing from readers across the States and as far away as Australia, Japan, and England. You can read more at www.busstopmommies.com. Karen lives in North Carolina with her two kids, two dogs, and one husband, where they attend St. James Catholic Church. (Well, they leave the dogs at home.)
