Do dogs count? Because that’s my answer to Real Simple Magazine’s question of the month, “What household object do you rely on the most?”
Dear Real Simple:
The household object(s) I rely on the most are my dogs. They are more efficient than any self propelled vacuum or electric combo broom/mop. Contrary to the behavior of my remote control, they do not hide under couch cushions, nor require the only size batteries I don’t own.
Thank you,
Karen Rinehart
P.S. The correct phrasing of the question should read, “On what household object do you rely the most?” At least that’s how a game show host would say it. I know. My household resembles a game show.
Family Feud:
I need to explain this?
Let’s Make a Deal:
Two cars. Three drivers.
If you iron, I’ll clean the gutters.
Wheel of Fortune:
Anytime reports cards come home.
Every time I have to figure out what to make for dinner.
Win, Lose or Draw:
Anytime reports cards come home.
Every time I have to figure out what to make for dinner.
100,000 Dollar Pyramid:
Putting our first kid through college.
60,000 Dollar Pyramid:
Trying to buy a new car and still afford groceries.
The Price is Right:
If that halter top at American Eagle goes on sale you can get it.
To hire a babysitter so I can shop alone, without hearing, “I want it! Can I have it? I’m bored. Are we done yet? But all the other kids have them! And I need it by tomorrow morning….”
Jeopardy:
When my husband forgets my birthday, to call home or renew my credit card.
When report cards come home.
When the in-laws visit.
When a Dog pees on the newly cleaned carpet five minutes prior to in-laws’ visit.
When a kid misses curfew.
When a kid leaves their new retainer on the floor. And steps on it.
Sitting in the passenger seat with a new teenage driver.
Name That Tune:
I never heard the teacher announce that!
You never told me we had plans!
I never said that!
You never said that!
What’s for dinner?
Where’s the hamster?
Where’s the plunger?
Uh mom, are you in a good mood now?
Cheat:
What my kids better not do if they want to live to see their next birthday.
Fear Factor:
What will happen if my kids cheat.
Anytime reports cards come home.
Every time I have to figure out what to make for dinner.
Facing the ever growing pile of ironing.
Win Ben Stein’s Money:
Finding money in pockets when I do laundry.
Who Wants to be a Millionaire?:
Me, so I can pay someone to iron and cook dinner.
Karen Rinehart is a syndicated newspaper columnist, public speaker, and creator of The Bus Stop Mommies™. Her book, Invisible Underwear, Bus Stop Mommies and Other Things True To Life, is a popular read in book clubs, school pick up lines, and soccer fields. She enjoys hearing from readers across the States and as far away as Australia, Japan, and England. You can read more at BusStopMommies.com. Karen lives in North Carolina with her two kids, two dogs, and one husband, where they attend St. James Catholic Church. (Well, they leave the dogs at home.)
