[Editor's Note: This article is the second in a series on the theme, “Being a Man of Humility.” It is a testimony by a Catholic man who came to understand the true meaning of humility in his own life through his physical suffering. Many thanks to The Word Among Us for allowing us to use this article from their monthly devotional magazine. Click here to read the first article in the series.]
This morning begins like many others, as I pull myself from my bed to my wheelchair at 6:30 and pray “The Morning Offering.” I grab my battery-operated rechargeable shaver. By 6:45, I am ready to spend the next 15 minutes with Our Lady as I recite the rosary. Today, being Monday, I meditate on the Joyful Mysteries.
As I get to the fourth Joyful Mystery, I recall Simeon’s words to Mary: “A sword will pierce your own soul, so the secret thoughts of many may be revealed” (Luke 2:35). I’ve shared many of my sorrows as well as my joys with her, and I recall some of them as I pray. It is 6:55 as I conclude the “Glory Be” and “O My Jesus.” I must call Dad at 7 for my ride will arrive for Mass at 8.
A Heavy Burden
I watch my father draw my bath water. Today, the burden of this feels especially heavy. Yet in his actions, I feel the warmth of our heavenly Father’s love. Part of every single day’s mountain, or cross, is to swallow my pride and allow a man thirty years my senior to bathe and dress me, a routine he has repeated all my life. Dad backs me into the tub and bathes me, as he has done since I was a small child. By this time I realize this is another splinter in the cross that God has given me. Yet, facing this cross helps me to climb the steeper mountains of the day. Before I leave home, Dad dresses me, as he would dress a grandson — though I’m a man of 41.
This part of the mountain climb ends at 7:30, and now I take time to reflect on the Mass readings, using The Word Among Us, as I’ve done for over a decade. I read the passages and accompanying meditation. I then put on my coat; it is 7:55. My ride arrives at 8 exactly.
We reach the church at 8:15 and I slip into my wheelchair. I hope I have a chance to see the priest before Mass, for I want him to hear my confession. He agrees, and I am thankful. Within moments, Mass begins, and I can receive the Eucharist with a clear conscience.
This portion of the day is my high point, and it makes the rest of the day less burdensome, as I am reminded that I am offering up the humiliation of my dependency for those who have left the church as well as for those souls who are in purgatory. It’s during these 16 hours of the day, after all, that I have the privilege of sharing my faith with CCD students and speaking with different groups about issues related to disability. Then there is the constant privilege of giving glory to God through my limitations, not focusing only on my special needs.
The days are relatively easy, but the nights are lonely and long. Being single, a deep sense of loneliness and the vulnerability of my dependency on my father at his age comes over me. This is when I must trust in my heavenly Father, praying, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” (Luke 23:46). May I say with an affirming voice, “Your will, not mine, be done” (22:42). Both my earthly father and my heavenly Father watch over me. These two fathers protect me.
(This article was part of the Catholic Men’s E-zine, “Being a Man of Humility” (May–June 2002 issue), which is available on the NFCM website. You may e-mail them at info@nfcmusa.org. It originally appeared in The Word Among Us devotional magazine, Used with permission.)
Reflection Questions on Page 2
Questions for Reflection/Discussion by Catholic Men
1. In what way does praying each morning and going to Mass give William strength to carry the cross of his illness? How does prayer and attending Mass give you the strength to carry the “crosses” in your life?
2. How was William able to offer up his illness to Jesus?
3. One way of working a good out of suffering is to join it to the suffering of Jesus on the cross and to offer it up for the salvation of souls. Do you think this makes a difference in a person who is suffering because of serious illness or some other circumstance in his life? Do you think it would make a difference to you if you were ever in a similar situation (even temporarily) as William? Share a time when “offering up” your suffering made a difference in your life?
4. Is sharing about some of the “crosses” you may have a part of your men’s group meeting? Should it be? Why or why not? Spend some time at the end of your meeting to pray for the “crosses” in your lives, and continue to pray for one another. Share the fruit of these prayers at your next meeting.
