All those parenting books make Mom’s job just a little too complicated.
They consult with psychologists, counselors, educators, and more. When my son was three weeks old, I threw out the “what to expect” book because I realized even at 21 days that he would never, ever do what was expected.
Instead of those books, perhaps we should have Mom's boot camp (otherwise known as your first child's infancy). Or obedience training schools. Here's a list of the commands you probably already know and didn't know you did:
Fetch: First, we fetch diapers. Then we fetch toys. Toddlers especially enjoy this game when they drop a toy just to watch us fetch it.
Sit: This is something you don't get to do very often. When you do get to sit, lean back, relax, and savor the moment. It will pass all too quickly. You will probably have to leave the sit position to go fetch.
Crawl: You'll get to do lots of this when picking up baby toys. If a toy sits in a toy bench and is never thrown out, it never really existed. Real toys are thrown, rolled, tossed, squashed, banged, and moved about on a daily basis.
Heel: When your child falls and gets a cut or bruise, your first thought may be heal. You will stand there for a moment to let the child determine whether it's a minor scrape or a curdling scream for Mom to come save the day and kiss it and make it better. Sometimes this command also involves a fetch of a favorite toy or a young child who needs to be picked up and given a hug. Occasionally, after the heel, you get to sit with your child. Savor those moments too. All too soon, children grow up and no longer cry for their mothers when they scrape their knees.
Stay: This is the command we give ourselves when our kids take their first steps away from us. After those first tentative steps, they usually turn and return to us. We have to tell ourselves to stay, to let them go, so they can grow into the people God wants them to be. This is training for them in independence. It's training for Mom in letting go and watching them fly from the nest.
Down: We tell ourselves this when we see kids having fun and getting dirty and bite our tongues so they can be kids. I most recently used this one upon seeing my son, helping landscape a club's garden spot, when he and a friend decided to spread the manure with their hands. When I saw him, he was smiling in manure up to his elbows. I asked, “Do you know what that is?” A friend added, “It's already decomposed.” Down, Mom. He's already dirty and is having a great time. All I could add was, “Well, wash your hands and your arms and your elbows before you set foot in my car again.”
Roll Over: Be careful not to confuse this with Down. When kids are at risk of hurting themselves, others, or other things, then our job is to tell them to Stay, Stop, or Sit. Get very used to not rolling over when you have toddlers. Older kids and teens often try to get parents to roll over on a daily if not hourly basis. Every time you roll over, brace yourself for an exponential increase in this game.
Play Dead: If you've already read Go Dog Go for the tenth time today, you may try this to avoid reading it aloud one more time before bedtime.
Attack: This is what you'll want to do whenever someone hurts or threatens your precious children.
Of course, if you spend all your time simply learning these commands, you'll miss the joys of parenthood altogether. What differentiates us from dogs and other animals is our will and reason. God knows the number of hairs on our heads and has a special purpose for each of us. We have the gift of free will, and when we choose to obey God, the most wonderful things happen.
The ones you'll never forget often involve toddler hugs and kisses, given by kids with faces smeared with the remains of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, who have dirt on their knees, grass stains on their backsides, and smiles bigger than rainbows.
Return the hugs, enjoy the kisses, and cherish those smiles in your heart forever.
Mary Biever is a homeschooling mother of two who publishes encouragement articles and runs Encouragement Workshops For Today's Families.
This article was adapted from one of her columns.
