Recently, my family had some run-ins with mice. I wouldn't say we have a mouse problem, just a couple of encounters.
Our first encounter wasn't pleasant for me, but was humorous for anyone within the listening vicinity. To summarize, I found mouse poop, then called my hubby, hubby laughed, I called Bug Man, Bug Man dispensed solemn mouse wisdom and glue traps, mouse was caught, and hubby threw mouse over fence into pine trees. My hubby then patched the mouse holes with steel wool and duct tape, and I cleansed everything with bleach — there were no more mice.
Or so we thought.
Yesterday, Bug Man came to my house for my quarterly insect pest control visit. He asked for a status report about our small nocturnal visitors and I beamed broadly as I relayed our confidence in our mouse eradication. I also bragged that if there were any other mice, they surely would have gotten stuck in our remaining glue traps.
During his inspection, he found evidence of mouse activity and gave us some stronger glue traps that were ice-tray-looking contraptions filled with clear goo. I wonder if PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) might find out about my traps and then picket my house and possibly throw glue on me when I go to my mailbox to get my mail. Hmm.
I could take a more humane approach and get live traps. These things are HUGE and expensive (30 bucks a pop!). Plus the thought of having to 'relocate' a mouse gives me the willies. Where would I go? The instructions say to take the mouse five miles from your home. Well, unfortunately, there are houses and churches five miles away from me and you know they wouldn't appreciate me 'relocating' my wildlife next to them. Nope. If the mouse becomes an endangered animal, I might consider getting live traps, but until then you can call me a mouse murderer.
The very next morning after Bug Man's visit my husband Paul leaned down to kiss me good-bye before heading off to work. He gingerly put his hand on my shoulder and told me, “I found a 'little buddy' behind your computer this morning.”
I quickly sat up in bed and gasped, “There really was another rat? BEHIND MY COMPUTER? AGAIN?!”
He grinned, “Yup. He was a little bitty thing, just like the last one. Matter of fact, I wonder if it was the same one that we caught last time.”
Hmm, the one we caught last time escaped from the glue trap? “Are you going to … uh, get rid of it? Here? Are you going to throw it in the pine trees again?” I asked.
He answered, “Well, since the kids are off from school today and might find it, I'll just take it to work with me and toss it in the dumpster there.”
Later on after breakfast, I told the kids about what happened. Josh, my six-year-old was confused. “Why did Daddy take it to work?” he asked.
My eight-year-old, Ashley answered, “You're so silly! Daddy had show-n-tell today!”
I giggled as imagined Paul all dressed up in his suit and tie walking in the front door at work and calling a meeting with the staff.
“I would like to begin this meeting with show-n-tell, next we'll discuss departmental expenses, and scheduling deliveries,” Paul would say. “I have this really cool mouse stuck in goo that I found behind my wife's computer this morning. Isn't it neat? You can pass it around, just don't get any doughnuts near it.”
As the meeting comes to a close, Paul would say, “Be sure to have your expense reports turned in at the end of the day, and if anyone wants to stop by and see the mouse, it will be on top of my desk until the janitor comes in at four.”
Ah yes, what a fun day Paul would have with our misplaced mouse. Show-n-tell would definitely spice up staff meetings.
Hopefully now, my mouse problem is just a memory. Although, Ashley did ask me, “Mommy, if we catch another mouse, can I take it to show-n-tell instead of Daddy?”
Sure! Why not share our Mice Wars: The Phantom Menace with everyone? Feel the excitement, the terror, and the disgust as mice fight the force of the goo! Coming soon to a theater near you!
Angela Gillaspie is a freelance writer, programmer/analyst, and proud Southern Momma. When she's not in front of the computer, she's on the soccer field, in the kitchen, in the garden, or down at the crick fishing. Visit her website at SouthernAngel.com.