One recent morning, while my children were happily playing at a friend’s house, my husband and I tried to plot out the summer on a large, family-sized calendar. After we penciled in three soccer camps, numerous tournaments, ballet camp and a civil war camp, there wasn’t any room for a family vacation.
There were too few days of just kicking back and messing about. I was dazed and exhausted just looking at it on paper. We did some erasing, some re-arranging, some re-evaluating. Then, we put the whole thing away to revisit another day. My head was spinning with the busy-ness of it all. As I headed off to retrieve my children, I pondered what really makes a good summer in the life of a child.
I had reached no real conclusions when I pulled up at my friend Julie’s house. Giggling, squealing, delighted children met me in the yard.
“Woody had her kittens!”
“Christian found them in the woodpile!”
“She’s such a good mother!”
Sure enough, there in a box with a blanket, were three orange kittens, just a couple of hours old. We all stopped talking at once as we watched them nurse, an awestruck hush hanging in the new summer air. After a few minutes, I took a good look at my children.
They were filthy. Their clothes were muddy, their hair was sandy, and all their fingers and faces were stained dark purple. Upon closer examination, I learned that they’d been digging in the dirt pile, playing in the sandbox and picking and eating warm, ripe mulberries from the large trees in Julie’s yard. This was their little slice of heaven on a summer day: kittens, dirt, and fresh berries picked from the tree.
I thought about all the skills camps offered to our children — nine hours a day in the tae kwon do school, hour after hour in the ballet school, non-stop soccer for an entire summer — the list is nearly endless. So often, they all look good. At the end of the summer our children can be better, stronger, more skilled. Whatever happened to the rest and relaxation that used to be a lazy summer day? Whatever happened to binge reading on a hammock while eating fresh-picked peaches? Whatever happened to flashlight tag?
Summer should be experienced from the top of a swing, on the crest of a wave, in the branch of a tree, in a tent on a starry night. It is in those moments, in those places, that a child has a chance to catch his breath and to get a glimpse of himself. It is there that their bodies and spirits are refreshed and restored. It is there that they also get a glimpse of God.
Will my children go to camp this summer? Some of them will. We have tried to strike a balance. There will only be a week of half-day ballet camp; no civil war camp; and only one soccer camp. Patrick was supposed to stay with my father while he attended a soccer camp near my father’s home. He’ll still have his time at Grandpa’s, but they are going to play a little golf, do a little museum exploring, and meander through Annapolis. Nothing terribly planned, just happy rabbit trails waiting to be discovered.
Truth be told, I am going to have to work at ensuring an old-fashioned summer. The world around me is clamoring for me to “sign them up” for every good idea. It is work to resist the lure of “better, stronger, more skilled.” But I have learned that sometimes we have to forego the good in order to attain the best.
Elizabeth Foss is a freelance writer from Northern Virginia. Real Learning: Education in the Heart of the Home by Elizabeth Foss can be purchased at www.4reallearning.com.
(This article courtesy of the Arlington Catholic Herald.)
