Nothing surprises me anymore: college dorm bathrooms going ‘co-ed’, unsupervised teens leaving school grounds for lunch (and driving like maniacs!), grade school children regularly watching R-rated movies, girls losing their virginity the month after being put on the pill for ‘medical reasons’.
I've ceased being horrified at pre-teens listening to CD's labeled with ‘explicit lyrics’ warnings, kids allowed to wander wherever, whenever with whomever, teens living with the family of a boyfriend or girlfriend! The list doesn’t end!
Yes, the shock factor has warn off. Things don’t appall me like they used to but I am still baffled by how many parents practice laize-faire parenting — either not caring or acting like they don’t care. And these same parents are startled when they find out their child is doing drugs, abusing alcohol, skipping school, using profanity or comes home pregnant!
Concerned parents wonder if there is something wrong with themselves when their child asks permission to do some outrageous, ludicrous thing. And in saying no time and time again, are they too strict or ‘old-fashioned’? After all, “everyone else’s parents think it’s okay”. Why does it seem like only they see something wrong with this behavior? Will their child suffer if not allowed to go along with the crowd? I say NO!
Parents with moral standards, stick to your guns! We may be few and far between but we are still around. Our numbers may be diminishing but they have not fizzled out completely. It’s conscience and common sense that tells us these things are harmful to our children. The law of right and wrong is written in our hearts.
When our children are bombarded with secular ideas and pressured into wrong, it’s the parents who have to stand tall and support our kids. It is a duty and obligation to protect the innocence of the souls that have been loaned to us. I can’t help but think the Father of creation is looking down on parents wondering what we are thinking or if we are thinking at all.
It comes down to parental laziness. It’s easier to say yes. It’s easier not to hear the whines, what ifs and pleases. It’s easier to lower your standards and allow your kids to do what ‘everyone else is doing’. It’s easier to not care.
But there are those of us who do care. So, stay strong. Do not be afraid to say ‘no’. Sure, you won’t be the most popular person in town. Yes, parents and children will think you are too stern or protective. Perhaps you will get chuckles and labeled the religious freak with all those rules. I can live with the stares, the talk, the whispers but I can not live with the fact that I let my kids loose to do as they please with no regard for what happens to them. I care about them, not about what people think.
I have given my children permission to use me as a scapegoat. They can blame me if it relieves them from peer pressure situations. When they are in a hard spot, they say it’s mom or dad’s fault. It’s a parental rule, not their choice. And it works.
So, go ahead, tell your teen to cover her belly, say no to piercings and tatoos, reserve the right to decide what movie is viewed and whom your child is allowed to drive with. Plan events around the Sunday Mass schedule, teach chastity, purity and respect. After all, it is our job as parents.
Colleen Miner, wife and mother of three daughters, lives in Saranac Lake, NY. She is a reporter/photographer for the Diocese of Ogdensburg and active in Pro-Life and Youth Ministry.
