Why do I let it gross me out year after year? I expect it. I know it's going to happen. So why do I act surprised, shocked and insulted every time the stores pull out the Christmas merchandise before I even have a chance to buy my Halloween candy? I don't get it.
I wandered into the super hardware/home improvement store in desperate need of a new grill cover, only to find the entire "Outdoor Entertaining" section gone. In its place were inflatable Santas, dancing reindeer, singing squirrels and cube shaped, glitter coated vinyl illuminated snowmen.
On the upside, I did find a box of ornaments in the shape of a grill, BBQ tongs and picnic table. But still no cover for our grill — for the time of year when we really need it.
A week later, the super hardware/home improvement store sales flyer arrived announcing their, "New Expanded Assortment of Holiday Decorations!" Sure enough, on the top half of the front page, there were pre-decorated artificial trees, live poinsettia plants, and a wide variety of boxed lights. The bottom half of the front page was monumentally educational. Who knew "Holiday Decorations" include stainless steel gas grills (but no cover), portable DVD players, cordless 3.6-volt powered scissors, 9.6-volt drill kits, auto wrenches, cordless phones, socket wrench sets and wide screen TVs?
I don't get it. Then again I moved to a town who holds their "Christmas Parade" 10 days prior to Thanksgiving and I seem to be one of the few residents left who thinks that's kinda early.
A dozen 30-foot-tall inflatables in a single front yard and not a single gawking motorist has driven their car into the neighbor's brick wall or giant bell ringing red-hatted inflatable squirrel. I don't get that. I guess I'd rather use the electricity it takes to keep those guys inflated to heat my house or chill my Chardonnay.
I was trolling the mall a week prior to Thanksgiving in search of the Perfect Office Party Dress. There were Christmas decorations in every square foot of the upscale mall — 50 foot tall ornately adorned trees, "Holiday Sales" and "One Day Early Shopper Specials" in every store. Little kids were lined up to see Santa. The mall corridors were lined with seasonal-only shops on carts. The Hallmark store stuffed my favorite line of greeting cards in the stockroom to make way for singing, dancing, and flashing Limited Edition ornaments and thousands of cards with red envelopes.
With each step I was accosted with the usual holiday hoopla until I stopped in front of the Nordstrom display window. The display consisted of, well, nothing, but a few tasteful cardboard boxes and simple lettering on the window: "You might notice our store is kind of bare. We will not deck our halls until after Thanksgiving. Why? We prefer to celebrate one holiday at a time."
Now that I get. Finally.
God Bless Nordstrom… and God bless us, Everyone.
